Several months ago, I was asked to speak in our Ward's Sacrament meeting. I have been meaning to share it here, but haven't felt the time was right, until now. With this being Easter week, I am trying to focus on my beloved Savior, Jesus Christ and all He's done for me - culminating in His great Atoning Sacrifice and Resurrection. I owe Him everything and love Him beyond the words to express it. Here is my talk entitled: Jesus Christ is the Treasure, based on Elder Dale G. Renlund's talk of the same title:
"Good afternoon, Sisters and Brothers. I have been asked to speak to you today using Elder Dale G. Renlund's talk in this month's General Conference, as a reference. His talk is entitled: Jesus Christ is the Treasure.
Elder Renlund begins his remarks with the story of the discovery of the tomb of King Tutankhamun in Egypt. After digging in the Valley of the Kings, unsuccessfully for five years, the explorers finally realized that they had not searched in the location of their base camp. After a few days of digging in that new spot, they discovered the tomb they were looking for. Literally, the treasure was right under their feet all along. They missed it because they were looking “beyond the mark”.
Elder Renlund explains that this phrase: “Looking beyond the mark” was how the Book of Mormon prophet Jacob referred to taking for granted or undervaluing what is nearby. He said that Jacob prophesied that when our Savior, Jesus Christ came to the people at Jerusalem, they would not recognize Him as the promised Messiah. And he was right. The people at Jerusalem didn't see what or who was right in front of them. Instead, they rejected Him, mocked Him, and finally – they crucified Him. In vain, they continued looking for someone else to save them.
Elder Renlund said: “Like those people in Jerusalem...we too can be prone to look beyond the mark. We need to guard against this tendency lest we miss Jesus Christ in our lives and fail to recognize the many blessings He offers us. We need Him. We are counseled to rely 'wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to save.'
He is our mark. If we incorrectly imagine that there is a need for something beyond what He offers, we deny or diminish the scope and power He can have in our lives.
Jesus Christ is our treasure.”
I remember a time in my life where I missed what was right in front of me until Heavenly Father took that opportunity to teach me a life-changing lesson.
Just to give you a little background to this story... In addition to some abdominal health issues I'm currently having; that the doctors haven't figured out yet - I have an auto-immune disease called “Sarcoidosis”. It's a disease which causes abnormal collections of inflammatory cells called granuloma. It can affect every organ in the body. It causes inflammation, flu-like feverishness, pain, and dragging fatigue. There is no explanation for what causes it. There is no cure. It can go into remission (which mine did until 2019). It can reoccur (which mine has). It can last a few years or long-term. It can also be fatal.
There's rarely a day when I am not in pain somewhere. I know this sounds like I'm a big whiner, but I am honestly trying not to be. This is simply my daily life with active Sarcoidosis and it's exhausting. It's as if your body is at war with itself.
In spite of all this, I try really hard to keep a positive attitude and a cheerful countenance. For the most part, I succeed. Sometimes, however, when the flare-ups seem never-ending; I get worn down and discouraged. On those days, the effort to keep trying seems over-whelming. On those days, I just want to quit and go home to Heavenly Father. I'm very grateful that those days are rare.
All that being said, I'm not having a “pity-party”. It's just that this is hard. Hurting all the time saps your strength and energy. I don't want to be that person who puts themselves to bed every time they have a hangnail. (I'm exaggerating...) But really, I want to muscle through this and do as much as I can - as cheerfully as I can. I especially don't want to be a crabby-sick-person.
I am learning to let go of things I can't do and not despair over them – and hope that someday I'll be able to do those things again. I am being taught to embrace the victories as they come. I am learning to focus on the joy Heavenly Father showers down on me each day. It may not be the joy I asked for, but it is joy! I am being taught – tutored or polished, if you will – to see that God can make so much more of me than I could ever make of myself.
I'm not there yet, but someday I hope to be able to embrace this polishing with a cheerful heart and no whining. In the meantime, I am grateful that Heavenly Father is patient with me when I am not so patient with His plan. I keep trying to alter the blueprints and He keeps lovingly steering me back on course. I am also infinitely grateful for a God who must have a wondrously perfect sense of humor. I hope my clumsiness in fumbling my way along this path gives Him more to chuckle at and less of a desire to hurl lightning bolts to zap me with.
I am beyond grateful for the love and support of my dear husband. He does so much for me – mostly, he doesn't see me as disabled or handicapped. He sees me – into the heart of me. I love how he loves me and I try to do whatever I can to make this challenge easier for him. Awhile ago, I had an idea of something new I could do that might help lighten Kevin's load...
So I tried something new and it didn't work the way I planned. The way I planned... I was so disappointed. I cried in frustration and anger. I felt broken, lost, defective, and useless. I stood below, shaking my fist at Heaven – railing at the failure of my plan. My plan... totally forgetting that I am committed to living HIS plan. It didn't last long – this anger and frustration. For me, it rarely does. Heavenly Father is perfect and sees everything. I KNOW I need to trust that but being a flawed and imperfect human; I lose sight of that occasionally. I am beyond grateful for a patient, loving Father who waits for me to get it out of my system and come back around...then with a loving hand on my shoulder He guides me where I need to go.
It wasn't a total loss – as usual, Heavenly Father turns my failings into opportunities to teach me. This experience made me ponder about my relationship with Him. I began thinking of how He dealt with the people we read about in the scriptures. Suddenly I was seeing them in a new-personal way. As I thought about who I am to our Heavenly Father, I could see myself in their stories.
I am Ruth. In the early days of our marriage, I promised my husband that I would go with him where ever Heavenly Father took us. So, I did - “...for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God...”
As life didn't follow the course I thought it would, I became Esther. In discovering how to follow the path Heavenly Father was leading me to, I learned to ask myself: “who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” The Lord has a purpose for me – trusting Him to show me that purpose is a life-long pursuit.
I am the woman with the issue of blood, reaching out to the Savior for healing – hoping...hoping...hoping...
I am Sarah, and Elizabeth feeling alone in my barrenness; longing for children who seem to never come. Feeling defective and less-than. Until God's mercy smiled upon me as it had them and I, like my scriptural-sisters, embraced the joy of motherhood.
I'm Lehi and Sariah at the Tree of life, souls filled with “exceedingly great joy” and wanting to share it with loved ones. Standing bereft as beloved children “would not come...and partake...”.
I am Joseph, walking into what will soon become a sacred grove... Reading that story of a boy who was not much older than I, when I first read of him. He like I, “lacked wisdom”. He like I, found the faith to ask “the” question. For me, the seeds of my testimony were sown in my reading of Joseph and the answer to HIS prayer. “This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him!”
Even as I liken the scriptures to myself, I am making my own record. This is MY path – my unique journey. Heavenly Father knows what I need and how I must progress. So, taking strength from my scriptural-friends and the lessons they teach me; I continue writing my story - day by day. Noting the times when I'm swamped with love and joy for God's grace and goodness to me. As well as the times when I feel desolate, down-trodden, put-upon, and used up. Times when the only thing holding me up is the touch of the Master's hand, His love, His kindness, and His mercy. I think of the widow woman who by obeying the prophet Elijah one day, had enough food for days to come. It reminds me to trust that God's goodness can be enough to get me through today, and tomorrow it will be enough again. It teaches me to trust that “Surely as I (God) have thought, so shall it come to pass...” Isaiah 14:24... God always keeps His promises and He will never lead me astray.
I tried something new, and it didn't work because I was following the wrong plan, or looking beyond the mark. I tried something new and failed, but not really. Because my loving Father took my hand and led me through a lesson that showed me a better glimpse of His plan. He showed me that He can teach me valuable truths and use me to bless others – even when I feel broken, lost, defective, and useless. Because to Him, I am none of those things. To Heavenly Father, I am like the Apostle John in the scriptures. I am “Beloved.”
I testify of the truthfulness of these things. I testify that Jesus Christ is our beloved Savior. He suffered for our sins and all the other hard things we must endure in this life. He did this so that we can repent, change, and be His disciples. He did this so He could perfectly succor us, be our advocate with our Father, and be our 'kind, wise, Heavenly friend'. If you have a problem, question, concern, pain, grief, sorrow, regret, or just need love – I testify that Jesus Christ is always the answer – He is our treasure. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
