Fitness...Faith...and Father...

Over the years, I've struggled with my weight. Part of it is genetic, part of it is medical, and part of it has been a lack of control over my appetite and food choices. Four years ago, I began a journey to become physically healthy, fit, and strong. It hasn't been an easy road to follow. For one thing, at times it seemed as if my own body was trying to sabotage my efforts.

Every time I would make progress, I got sick (sarcoidosis for one, meningitis to mention another) OR I would get injured (torn/detached rotator-cuff that required surgery, plantar-fasciitis which required weeks of physical therapy, and repeated painful bouts of gout among other things)...see what I mean? It became very discouraging.

Then there was life itself...graduations, weddings, trips, trauma, drama, and upheaval...all seemed determined to keep me at my unwanted weight and physical condition. It was at times overwhelming and I wanted to quit! I can hear my Dad's voice in my head..."I didn't raise a quitter!"  And he would be right, he didn't!

This is where Father comes into play...Heavenly Father, that is. Because I didn't embark on this journey alone. From the very beginning, three very important men were there every step of the way. Kevin, who is on his own physical fitness journey and succeeding beautifully; encourages me daily, and celebrates my smallest success.  Jerry Shannon, who is our personal trainer and nutritionist - our loudest cheerleader - and a firm believer in our ability to succeed. Finally, but certainly NOT least of all; is our Heavenly Father. I entered into this journey with prayer. I can honestly say that I've prayed every step of the way.

It may sound odd to make this physical transformation into a spiritual journey as well, but I firmly believe that Heavenly Father wants me to be my very best self - in every way possible. For one thing, how can I go out and serve Him if I'm not physically able to do so?  I believe that Father is willing to help us as much as we need, if we will let Him in enough. I don't believe there is any aspect of our lives that is too small or seemingly insignificant not to warrant His attention and help - again, if WE let Him in. That being said, I'm NOT saying that we give up and expect Him to do everything for us. I mean, He's not going to wave a heavenly-wand and make me look like a super-model. lol  I believe we need to include Him in our efforts. I believe that if we go out and do our best, we can and should be able to turn to Him and allow Him to help with the rest.

Today, would be a good example of this. I woke up with a nasty headache. You know, the kind that makes you want to crawl back into bed and not get out again? Unfortunately, I had people depending on me for transportation today, so staying in bed was out of the question. Still, having a headache of those proportions really made me NOT want to go to the gym. I managed to whine and talk my way out of it until 2:00 pm. Missing ONE day wouldn't hurt, would it????  Except that I've set a personal goal to make it everyday - and have been determined to stick to my exercise and meal-plan - and I get measured and weighed on Friday, and I'd REALLY like to see improvement....other than that, no big deal! lol

All day long, excuses and whining kept me out of the gym. Until I finally realized that my will-power wasn't going to be enough on its own and I sent up a plea to Heaven, for help. After my last transportation duty for the afternoon, I aimed the car up the hill to the gym. I dragged myself - mentally kicking and screaming (gee, wish THAT energy would have leaked into my will-power to get me there earlier...ha ha) onto the treadmill, and got started. About 10 minutes in, my back hurt, my legs hurt, and my lungs were protesting. I prayed that I'd be able to keep going...Time to increase my speed...20 minutes into my cardio, I was sure I was going to die...no drama here! Still praying, I increased the incline and kept moving... Finally, the timer rolled over to 30 minutes and I was done!!!

I can honestly say that I felt Heaven's help getting through this today! It may seem like a trivial thing, but it's vital to me that I achieve my health and fitness goals, so I believe it's important to Him. I have faith that if I do my part, He will help me when I can't do it on my own.

In a talk entitled "Fourth Floor, Last Door", in the last General Women's Conference, President Deiter F. Uchtdorf said:

"Faith means that we trust not only in God's wisdom but that we trust also in His love. It means trusting that God loves us perfectly, that everything He does - every blessing He gives and every blessing He, for a time, withholds - is for our eternal happiness. With this kind of faith though we may not understand why certain things happen or why certain prayers go unanswered, we can know that in the end everything will make sense. 'All things (will) work together for good to them that love God'.

All will be made right. All will be well.

We can be certain that answers will come, and we may be confident that we will not only be content with the answers but we will be overwhelmed by the grace, mercy, generosity, and love of our Heavenly Father for us, His children."

I don't always understand why things happen the way they do, or why some things have to be so hard. However, I do know that I have a loving Father-in-Heaven who wants me to be happy and wants me to succeed. Knowing that - absolutely, without a doubt - gives me the faith to turn to Him and trust Him to help me. When this weight-loss/fitness journey is complete, my faith will be bigger, but the rest of me will be smaller. I call that a win, whichever way you look at it. At that point, climbing to the "Fourth floor, last door" will be easy as pie!!! lol

Blowing in the wind...

"Alzheimer's is a type of dementia that causes problems with memory, thinking and behavior." ..."Symptoms usually develop slowly and get worse over time, becoming severe enough to interfere with daily tasks." *from ALZ.org, the Alzheimer's Association Wow, that sounds so bland for what this hateful disease really does to a person. Kevin's Mom - my dearest mom-in-law, Doris; has had this hateful disease for more than 17 years now. Kevin said, the other day, that Mom is a mere wisp of who she was. That got me thinking... Watching Mom live with Alzheimer's over the years has been like watching a dandelion that has gone to seed. Bit by bit, memory by memory, pieces of our beloved Mom disappear like dandelion seeds in the wind. At first, it's just losing the car keys, or forgetting where she left her glasses. Nothing too earth-shattering... Can't do math or handle a checkbook...not too bad...that's why we're family - we take care of each other... It's not safe to drive, really can't live on her own - we've got this!!! We'll do it and she'll be safe with us. Can't tend her own personal needs...we can't provide enough care. Who do we trust with our beloved Mom??? How can we let her go to strangers??? Our hearts are breaking. She knows we belong to her, when we visit the lovely home to which we entrusted her. She hasn't spoken our names for years. Much of what we say is beyond her ability to understand. She can't sift through the Alzheimer's-mud that's clogging her mind to find the words to communicate with us.  She's lost...one piece of her at a time has blown away until she is lost to us...lost in the confusion and fog of this most hateful disease. For all that - for all the sorrow we feel at seeing her this way, to us she will always be our beloved Mom and Grandma...

Merry Christmas Eve!!

The stockings are hung by the chimney with care...

The tree is alight and brimming with cheer...

...and while all these things make me smile, this is what fills my heart with peace in this Season of Joy!

The gift of His birth and mission on earth give me such joy and hope. Having all my kids home for Christmas Eve will be the best gift I receive... I know that because of the gift of His life and mission, we can be together forever.

May the wonder and awe of that first Christmas so long ago, bring to you and yours peace, hope, and good will towards all men.

Merry Christmas with love from all of us here at Happy Acres!

Annette, Kevin, Amanda & Chris, and Jackie & Jairen

We The People....

The United States Constitution begins with a preamble that states:

"We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."

Further in the document, regarding the election of President of the United States, it reads:

"The Person having the greatest Number of Votes shall be the President, if such Number be a Majority of the whole Number of Electors appointed;"

This past Tuesday, November 8, 2016, the majority of voters made their choice and Donald J. Trump was elected to be the 45th President of the United States of America. 

Yesterday and today, here are some of the reactions to those results:

Thousands across the USA protest Trump victory - USA Today

American Flags Burned, Mexican Flags Waved in Post Election Protests

'Not Our President': Protests Spread After Donald Trump's Election

Cornell University students held a "cry-in." Loyola University and Byrn Mawr College students demanded the cancelling of classes, citing exhaustion, depression, and safety concerns,

Schools Offer Counseling, Professors Postpone Exams After Trump Win

I understand the feelings of helplessness. I get that those who did not support Trump are feeling powerless and possibly afraid. I have felt that way myself.

In 2008 and in 2012, Barrack Obama won the election. He was not my choice. In fact, he was not the choice for thousands of Conservative Americans. However, we did not riot in the streets. College and High School classes continued just as before. We went to our jobs, attended school, and went about our business just as we did every other day. 

For some of us, Barrack Obama's election was a call to action. We didn't like his policies or the things he imposed on our Nation. So we went out and tried to make a difference. For example, I got more involved in my community. I served on a local school board. I learned more about the issues of the day. I attended caucus meetings and gained an education in local politics and government. I tried in every way I could, to be a better informed and more active citizen of this great Nation.

Here are the electoral maps for the last three elections:

Obama won 365 electoral votes - McCain won 173.

In 2012, Obama won 332 - Romney won 206

In 2016, Trump won 279  - Clinton won 228

This is how democracy works. The majority of the people chose Donald Trump. Now is not the time for MORE contention and violence. Now is not the time to promote more hate and divisiveness. Haven't we all had enough of that?

The Constitution was created to "ensure domestic Tranquility" and "secure the Blessings of Liberty"

In life, we encounter many disappointments. Perhaps we don't get the job we worked for. Maybe we study hard and still bomb a test. Sometimes a relationship doesn't work out as planned. ...And sometimes our candidate doesn't win the election. That's life. What you do about it and how you handle it are what build your character. 

If you're disappointed or upset because your candidate didn't win, then go out and be a force for good in your community. Make a difference! Find a way to serve and make your community and neighborhood a better place. If you have causes in which you believe strongly, go out and serve in those causes. If you see social injustices, find positive ways to right them. Be a force for good in this world. Do your part to promote the "more perfect Union" that prompted the formation of this great Nation in which we live. 

Destruction, violence, wringing your hands in despair, and throwing a tantrum are never going to be the answer. Kindness, tolerance, cooperation, and understanding are a better way of getting things done. We don't all have to agree or believe exactly alike in order to get along and be civil.

Let's all put on our grown-up pants, roll up our sleeves, and get back to the work living in harmony together as citizens of these United States of America.

 

How???

She sits...knees drawn up, arms around them, head buried in them, sobbing. 

How?? How did this child about whom, on the anniversary of her adoption I once wrote: "It used to scare me how Jackie dove into life head-first and full-speed! She had such an exuberance for trying new things!" Now new things terrify her. The thought of meeting new people can bring on a panic attack that leaves her curled in a ball, as though desperately trying to hold herself together.

The event that triggered this one was her first visit to a therapist where she had to relive the nightmare that is the root of all of this trauma. The "how" of all this is a young man...one we trusted - one by whom we were all deceived and manipulated. One, whose seemingly innocent face and demeanor hid a malice, addiction, perversion, and evil, none of us could imagine. Clever and intelligent, he used those gifts to manipulate, control, and beat into submission; our bright, lovely, sunshine-girl. His addiction to violent pornography led to his abusing her in horrible ways. In this sea of psychological control, he turned the most precious and meaningful parts of her life against her. Her Faith became a weapon with which to control her. Her loving and supportive parents - he told her would never love her if they knew what was going on. Little by little, he stripped her of all that she could have turned to for help. He turned all that was precious, good and wholesome against her.

Now we sat in the car...me, desperately searching for anything to say that would help. Her, desperately clinging to what control she had left in order to not collapse under the weight of it all... She didn't want to talk - asked me not to talk to her; so I turned where she no longer would. I pleaded with Heavenly Father for help. Truly, if I love this precious daughter, He loves her infinitely more. After all, she is His first. I don't know what to do to help - but I have absolute faith that He does.

After we got home, she closed herself upstairs...leaving me feeling helpless, scared, and lost - thinking that I would do anything to take this pain and suffering from my beloved daughter. Again, I pleaded for help from above. I was prompted to listen to General Conference. The first talk I came to was "The Master Healer" by Carol M. Stephens.

As it was the first time I heard this talk, it seemed directed at me. Even more-so after the events of the morning. She quoted Elder Richard G. Scott who said: 

"When you have done what is reasonable to help one you love, lay the burden at the feet of the Savior. … As you so act, not only will you find peace...Complete healing will come through your faith in Jesus Christ and His power and capacity, through His Atonement, to heal the scars of that which is unjust and undeserved.”

Then she concluded with: "Sisters, I testify that—You don’t have to continue to carry the burden of sorrow caused by sin—alone. You don’t have to carry the pain caused by the unrighteous actions of others—alone. You don’t have to experience the painful realities of mortality—alone.

The Savior pleads:

“Will ye not now return unto me, and repent of your sins, and be converted, that I may heal you?

“… If ye will come unto me ye shall have eternal life. Behold, mine arm of mercy is extended towards you, and whosoever will come … will I receive.”

“He would do anything to take this from you.” In fact, “He already has.” In the name of Jesus Christ, the Master Healer, amen."

How??  How did we come to this point in our lives? Through the unrighteous actions of another. How will we get through this? Patience, love, and faith in the Master Healer. Right now my daughter has lost that faith - but that's ok. I may not be able to bear the burden for her - someone else already has. But I have faith in the Master Healer and I can lend it in her behalf until at last she is whole and healthy again. The road of healing will be long for all of us. But I testify that we are NEVER alone. We have a loving Father who will send help - angels of light from both sides of the veil to lift us up, to heal our broken hearts, minds, and spirits; and ultimately to bring us home to Him. We, all of us - even those whose unrighteous actions have caused our pain - can come home to Him; through Jesus Christ - The Master Healer.

October....

Welcome Fall...welcome October!!! 

This is my favorite time of the year! The leaves are changing and painting our mountains in glorious, warm, vibrant colors.

There's a crispness to the air that seems to enliven everything. It's harvest-time and time for pumpkin fests and pumpkin-flavored everything...

...and my personal favorite...all things apple!!  YUM!!!

The air is rich with the warmth and spice of the last hurrah before winter!

Then there's Halloween. 

It hasn't been my favorite holiday, but in the last 6 years that has changed. That's when we met the Warren and Marnee Price family. (Thanks to our daughter, Amanda and their son, Matthew.) The first few years of our friendship, on Halloween, we headed up to Marnee's brother's house to help with his annual Haunted House. Each year his haunted house had a different theme. One year was a "Haunted Circus" with everyone's favorite terror CLOWNS!!!!!

Then there was the year when all the characters of  "Alice in Wonderland" went a little crazy and had to be committed to the asylum...

Those days were crazy and fun. Since then, the kids have grown up and moved on. The Haunted House has been scaled down to accommodate the lack of helpers and the Prices have moved to their farm in Idaho.

Which has led to a new tradition...it wouldn't be Halloween if we couldn't spend it with our Price-Family. So every Halloween since they moved, Kevin and I have packed our bags, loaded up on fun new recipes to try, stocked up on Halloween candy, and headed up north for Halloween on the farm. We talk, we laugh, we eat, we enjoy the local Ward's activities, we play games and watch movies.

It's a typical Price/Webster fun-fest, and one our favorite places to be!!!

With all the fun, food, foliage, and frolic, is it any wonder that I love this time of year??? In fact - for me, it's the beginning of "The MOST Wonderful Time of the Year"!!!

So, here's to Autumn...stoke the fire, rake up the leaves for jump-in-them fun, bob for those apples, carve the pumpkins, gather up the ghouls and boys and let the festivities begin!!!

PS: What's your favorite Autumn adventure???

Broken...

She's broken...

Without even knowing what we were witnessing, we watched it happen. 

Bit by bit, a little at a time, he broke her down. 

A little coercion, a little manipulation...

A bit of abuse - add some subjugation...

Start it early, continue it slowly at first. Break her heart....

Dim her light, Shake her confidence....

Isolate her. Scare her... 

Make her feel like she's utterly alone....with only you to depend on.

Now you've got her....break her spirit.

...and without knowing what we were seeing...we watched it happen.

The light that shown so brightly dimmed. The soul that leaped at life stumbled, faltered...almost fell. The light that blazed with joy and hope almost went out...almost.

But, what strength! What a warrior spirit! Somehow, some way...she fought her way free! 

...and came home to us.

Now the healing begins. Now the hope arises. 

Now the light..oh, the precious light that is her beautiful, blazing soul flickers....it's coming back.

Time and patience and love...that will bring her back to us. That will heal her soul.

Her beautiful, vibrant, joyous, unique, and precious soul....that wasn't completely broken, after all.