...and the thunder rolls

Howling winds, rolling crashes of thunder, brilliant explosions of lightning...that's what we had all night last night. It was enough to make you want to cower under the covers and pray the house didn't fall down around you. OR...if you were of an adventurous frame of mind...it COULD make you want to revel in the majesty of nature unleashed in all her fury. 

This morning dawned, the clouds rolled back, and nature revealed her gentle, generous side. Brilliant blue skies, fluffy white clouds drifting playfully across the sky, plants, flowers, grass and trees all soaking in the bounty of moisture the storm left behind...

How much like life is this??? When the storms of life rage around - across - through - and over us...do we cower in fear? Hide and hope they pass us by? Or do we meet them head on and embrace them for the learning experiences they can give us?

...and after we've endured the tumult and chaos trials and tribulations bring, do we take the time to appreciate the beauty of a blue sky, a drifting cloud, or the drop of rain glistening on the petal of a rose?

This is life - in all it's majesty, glory, pain, suffering, wonder and awe. I choose to take joy in the journey (even when it's hard and I wheeze my way up the mountain)...I for one do not want to miss a single drop of rain or overlook one color in the rainbow.

Tender mercies

...Update...

The surgery went well.  I got the absolute BEST care. Everyone was very kind.  Great news is that the surgeon could tell from the preliminary examination of the tumors that they're benign!  NO CANCER!!  

Now we just have to wait for the in-depth tests to tell us what they are, why they're growing, and how to fix them so I can breathe.  Still this was a great first step and AWESOME news.

Today I am sore, tired, and REALLY swollen.  My ice-pack is my new best friend!!! lol

Thank you all for your love, support, and prayers.  I have no words for how very much they help me.  God bless you all!

Here we go again...

So, today's the day...wow!  So many mixed emotions.  I am anxious to get this done and FINALLY get some answers.  Being sick for almost three months and not knowing why has been frustrating.  I am a little nervous about having this biopsy done.  The tumors are in an area of my lungs - pretty close to my heart, so there are concerns.  I am also a little anxious about what the results of this biopsy will be...

Ok, anxious - yes...fearful - NO!!!  I have received Priesthood blessings that reassure me that I will be alright.  However, from past experience, I've learned that "all right" does not mean without challenges.  All that being said, I know that with the my Heavenly Father watching over me, and the love and prayers of my friends and family, I can overcome any challenge.  I have faith in that!

Last night as I was getting ready for bed, I had my "Pandora" internet radio set to my "Sunday Music" station.  The last song I heard was Hilary Weeks "He Is" - which is about all the things our Savior, Jesus Christ is.  One line reads:  "He is a long deep breath at the end of the day".  Somehow that seemed profoundly significant.  He is...and with Him I KNOW I will be fine.

Love to all of you!  See you when we're done!

Netty

Update...

Just want to keep everyone updated...my biopsy surgery is scheduled for 5:30 a.m. tomorrow 08/20/2014.  We'll let you all know how it goes and what the results are.  Prayers are always welcome and appreciated!  Love you all!

"All I need is the air that I breathe..."

I flunked breathing yesterday.  It was sad, really.  I've only ever received one "F" in my life, and that was college Algebra.  I've been breathing all my life, you'd think I'd have it down by now...but, NO not me. 

I've been sick off and on for two and a half months. Low-grade fever, intestinal issues, and now a cough. The doctors have run tests - tests - and more tests...did I mention tests??? I feel like a lab-rat.  

I have an awesome doctor, who had his nurse call me just to see how I was doing after all my tests.  When he found out that my cough was worse and I was sounding like "Wheezy-the-8th-Dwarf", he had me come in to see him. That's when I flunked breathing. *sigh*  He was very kind and helped me not feel badly about failing that test, but geez...something as fundamental as breathing??? Give me a break.

All kidding aside.  Some of the tests have revealed tumors growing in my lungs.  We don't know what they are, yet, but they're there and causing me some difficulty.  I have a consultation with a surgeon later today to see how they'll do a biopsy so we can learn more. Keeping our fingers crossed.

I've had my share of health issues throughout my life. I am learning to cope with them more calmly each time something new arises.  I have amazing family and friends who give me courage, love, support and prayers. Honestly, I can actually FEEL their prayers - and they really help.  I have the best husband in the world...I know there are women out there who would disagree, but Kevin is - hands-down - the best there is.  He's my rock.

Mostly, I have my faith.  I know - absolutely that God is with me.  He knows me by name and loves me without limits.  That knowledge is a gift and brings me more peace than anything else.  Knowing that I can turn to my Father-in-Heaven in prayer and He will hear and answer me is the greatest comfort in my life. The Prophet Joseph Smith said:   "Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for His arm to be revealed."

I know that I need to do everything I can or "all things that lie in my power" to get better.  But I also know that where my efforts fall short, I can trust my Heavenly Father to make up the difference - and He will!

The Book of Mormon tells of a people who were being severely persecuted.  Their only recourse was to turn to Heavenly Father in prayer.  He heard them and helped them:  "Yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord." *Mosiah 24:15*  

I know that the challenges we encounter in our lives are for us to learn and grow and develop into the sons and daughters of God that Heavenly Father wants us to be.  This health issue is another of those challenges.  He doesn't always remove the challenge when we ask, but sometimes eases the burden and helps us carry the load.

Health-wise, things in my life are a little uncertain. Still, I know that with faith, the universe will unfold as it should (to quote Mr. Spock).  In the meantime, life goes on and so will I.  

We'll be sure to keep y'all posted as we learn more. Keep the love and prayers coming.  They certainly help!

"....and my burden is light..."

Elder David A. Bednar of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints recently spoke about the loads we are called upon to bear in life.  He said:  

"Each of us also carries a load. Our individual load is comprised of demands and opportunities, obligations and privileges, afflictions and blessings, and options and constraints. Two guiding questions can be helpful as we periodically and prayerfully assess our load: “Is the load I am carrying producing the spiritual traction that will enable me to press forward with faith in Christ on the strait and narrow path and avoid getting stuck? Is the load I am carrying creating sufficient spiritual traction so I ultimately can return home to Heavenly Father?”

Throughout my life I have been taught to turn to my Heavenly Father when I feel "burdened" or like I have a heavy load to bear.  I recently read Elder Bednar's talk again, and it gave me insight and peace.

He spoke of the Atoning Sacrifice of Jesus Christ and how His gift of the atonement helps us bear our burdens.  Again he said:  

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28–30).

A yoke is a wooden beam, normally used between a pair of oxen or other animals that enables them to pull together on a load. A yoke places animals side-by-side so they can move together in order to accomplish a task.

Consider the Lord’s uniquely individual invitation to “take my yoke upon you.” Making and keeping sacred covenants yokes us to and with the Lord Jesus Christ. In essence, the Savior is beckoning us to rely upon and pull together with Him, even though our best efforts are not equal to and cannot be compared with His. As we trust in and pull our load with Him during the journey of mortality, truly His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

We are not and never need be alone. We can press forward in our daily lives with heavenly help. Through the Savior’s Atonement we can receive capacity and “strength beyond [our] own” (“Lord, I Would Follow Thee,”Hymns, no. 220). As the Lord declared, “Therefore, continue your journey and let your hearts rejoice; for behold, and lo, I am with you even unto the end” (D&C 100:12).

I love the image of our Savior walking beside us and when we've given all we can and done our best, He lifts our spiritual "yoke" and makes our burdens lighter.  To me, there is great comfort in that.

Just some random thoughts on a stormy Monday afternoon...

"I am SO proud of you!!"

When I work out in the gym, whether I am working with my trainer or by myself, the work-out is a reward in and of itself.  I really don't think about how I look or what other people see when they look at me. To be honest, I have to motivate myself every time I go to the gym. This isn't easy or a "natural" fit for me. I am unlearning years of sedentary habits.  However, every once in awhile I get reminded that people are actually watching me. Although most don't say anything to me, today it was brought to my attention that many of them are silently cheering me on, and wishing me success.

Here's what happened today...

I had a good, but intense, work-out with my trainer and was just finishing up my cardio on the treadmill.

I had just shut down the machine when an older gentleman came up onto the next machine over. He asked if he could speak to me and I said, "Sure".  "Thank you", He said.  "What on earth for?", I asked. He answered, "For being here and sticking with it.  I am SO proud of you!".  A complete stranger, and he was proud of me.  WOW! He encouraged me to keep it up and I told him I'd never quit.  Then I pointed out my trainer, Jerry Shannon and said I owed so much of my efforts to him.  After this nice old man finished chatting with me, he went up to Jerry and shook his hand.  Jerry was surprised as well.

I was a little taken aback, but also grateful.  This kind older man had no idea how much his comments meant to me.  I don't go to the gym for anyone but me.  However, if people around me notice my efforts and it inspires them, that's a gift.  I would love to be the means of helping other people find the joy, success and satisfaction of living a healthy lifestyle as I have.

I never did catch this gentleman's name...I learned that he was a Korean War Vet...a 10-year Marine Veteran, and 78 years old.  He and his wife had just celebrated 55 years of marriage and had started working-out at the gym 3 or 4 days ago.  He was absolutely delightful.  I would love to see him again and introduce him to Kevin.  Whether or not I get that chance, he absolutely made my day with six little words:  "I am SO proud of you!"