I've given quite a bit of thought to what I wanted to write about Mother's Day. I have so many thoughts and feelings associated with this day, I scarcely know where to begin.
There was a time in my life when I would have liked to pretend Mother's Day didn't happen. Not for lack of wanting to honor my own mother, but for my personal lack of motherhood. I am grateful not to feel that way anymore.
I've had great examples of motherhood in my life. My mother taught me a great many things which have blessed and enhanced my life; and for which I will be eternally grateful. I've learned more along the way from my dear mother-in-law, sister and sister-in-law, and friends. I can honestly say I've had a tremendous amount of help from my Heavenly Father, since prayer has been my lifeline more times than I can count. lol
I'm approaching a new stage in my life. I have one daughter who is close to celebrating one-year of married life. My youngest is about to graduate from High School. Kevin and I find ourselves on our own much more than we have in a long, long time. It's interesting to see the changes coming into our life.
As those changes occur, I see my parenting or "mothering" change as well. It's not that my love for my children diminishes, quite the contrary. It's that the time has come to step back and let the fledglings try their wings. In some ways this is a much more difficult stage of mothering. Where in the past my children's bad choices might result in a "boo-boo" that I could kiss better, now their bad choices can be potentially life-altering. As mothers at this stage of our children's lives, we walk a fine line between guiding, influencing, setting an example, and letting go. Knowing when to do any of those things can be quite a challenge. Again, the prayer-lifeline comes in very handy.
Since I was young, the thing I most wanted to be was a mother.
I've gone from living with what felt like a hole in my heart and aching-empty arms, to the balm of embracing both my beloved daughters as gifts from Heaven. Now I find myself stepping back, opening my arms, and letting them go. Along the way, I've learned, grown, and become a better person. Certainly, I've become a better mother. This "job" of being a mother is and has been the best and hardest job I've ever had. Was it what I expected??? A little...but it's exceeded my expectations beyond my imagination. Most of all, I am grateful for having the opportunity to fulfill this part of my divine potential. As I prepare to close one chapter in my life, I am eager to turn the page and open the next. (I've always been an avid reader...lol) Being a mother, so far, has been an adventure I wouldn't trade for anything. I have absolutely LOVED seeing life through the eyes of my children. I am looking forward to what comes next, and learning to find joy in the rest of this awesome journey we call "motherhood".
To all the women in my life...mothers now or mothers in another time to come... Happy Mother's Day!!!
