Life, Times, and Challenges...

 Dear Family and Friends;

Kevin and I wanted to give you all an update on the latest development in Kevin's health.

In December, blood work from a routine physical showed indications that something was wrong with Kevin's prostate gland. Over the last two months, he has undergone ultrasounds, MRI's with contrast, biopsies, and a PET scan. The final diagnosis is that Kevin has stage 3 prostate cancer that has spread to several of the lymph nodes in the pelvic region. The good news is that it has not spread anywhere else in his body.

This type of cancer feeds on testosterone, so the first step in Kevin's treatment is hormone therapy to lower his testosterone levels. He began the first medication for that treatment last week. Over the next 6 weeks, he will add another medication to boost the first. After a couple of months, if tests show that the prostate and the cancer in it has shrunk, Kevin will undergo radiation therapy. This will be location specific, so not as invasive.

After an initial pity-party – I mean, have you SEEN Kevin???

He's “Mr. Healthy and Fit”!!! This diagnosis was pretty lowering for both of us. We definitely did NOT see this coming – but, we are at peace. We know – without a doubt – that Heavenly Father has a plan for Kevin. We know there are things we're supposed to learn from this challenge that Heavenly Father has entrusted to us. We're eager to learn and be taught so we can grow and progress. We have faith in the Lord's plan and in the treatment Kevin is receiving. Trust in our Savior, Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father will help us through this.

We'll keep you posted as things progress. Kevin is still going to work, working out at the gym (it helps with his mental health as well as physically), and being steadfast in his Church assignments. It's Kevin... how could you expect anything else?

Your prayers and positive thoughts are more than welcome. Thank you all for your love and friendship. They add flavor and joy to our lives.

All our love,

Kevin & Annette

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Christmas ponderings

The last few weeks have found me pondering the reasons we even have this “most wonderful time of the year”. I began thinking of the Nativity – the “Greatest Story Ever Told” - and in those moments, the participants in this story jumped into my thoughts.

I thought of Joseph. He who was chosen to be the earthly father for the Father's Only Begotten Son. He was so faithful and obedient. When the angel told him not to put Mary away, he didn't question or remind the angel about the whispers and gossip that must surely have surrounded their situation. No, Joseph simply “did as the angel...had bidden him”. I reflected on that long journey and the trying circumstances of traveling with his wife in what to him must have been a worrying situation. 

Then to FINALLY get where they were going, only to NOT be able to find any accommodations. He must have been SO concerned for Mary and the baby she was soon to deliver. I imagined Joseph going into that stable and looking at the animals and all the mess, dirt, and debris that come with them. I can imagine him looking to Heaven and saying “This??? This is where You want us to bring Your Son, our Messiah into the world???” But, as he had in response to the angel – Joseph did what was right and set about making the best of what they had to work with. I imagine him raking out the old straw and putting down fresh. I imagine him cleaning out that manger and lining it with fresh, clean hay, and clean soft bedding. Steady, faithful, loving, and obedient – that was Joseph.

I wonder at Mary...so young, but so valiant, faithful, and obedient. When presented with her divine mission to be the earthly mother of the Messiah, she asked one question. When given the answer, she humbly and meekly submitted to the will of the Father - “Be it unto me, according to thy word” tells us so much about who Mary was. 

I can't even imagine how hard that journey to Bethlehem was for a young woman who was 9 months pregnant. Then knowing the baby was coming right away, and not being able to find a place to stay... I can only imagine what must have been going through her mind and heart. But Mary trusted Joseph, and they both trusted the Father. Though humble and lowly, a place was provided “and she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger...”

Then there was the angel appearing to the shepherds. Out in the dark, quiet, lonely countryside, those humble shepherds tended their flocks. 

That same Heavenly messenger appeared so he could “bring good tidings of great joy!” and gave them the good news!

I imagine that single messenger from Heaven would have given those shepherds something to marvel about if he'd been the only one to show up. But suddenly – SUDDENLY! A multitude of the heavenly host was with him. I imagine that heavenly host – maybe even some of us in our pre-mortal life – not being able to hold back their joy and singing glory to God and peace on earth!!! What a joyful noise!!! 

With their departure, those awe-struck shepherds went with “haste” and witnessed the baby – their Messiah – just as the angel had said. And seeing, believed and bore witness.

All these individuals were simply going about their lives. Lives that might never have intersected but for one thing. Heavenly Father had a plan, and they each had a part to play in that plan. A part of the Greatest Story Ever Told... The birth of a baby.

Not just any baby – their God – the Lord Jehovah, descended from His Heavenly throne to be born in a lowly stable – to be cradled in a feeding trough. Why? So He could save them – so He could save US! He, who was the greatest of all descended below all things. And He continues today. Because He meets us where we are and HOW we are. He comes to change the lowliest and most broken hearts. And heal the deepest and most devastating wounds.

I testify that as He did with the participants of the Nativity, Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us. He has a path laid out before us that simply requires our obedient submission to His will. He will lead us and show us the way – just as He did all those years ago with a young girl, a carpenter, and some humble shepherds. I bear my witness that the Lord of Heaven came to earth to reach the lowliest and most broken; to lift them up to the greatest heights and bring them home to Celestial glory. All He requires is our broken and humble hearts, and our willing obedience. As we give those gifts to Him, we each become participants in “The Greatest Story Ever told”. I testify that Jesus Christ is the light and the life of this world. He lives and loves each of us – just as we are and where we are.

Merry Christmas with all our love and best wishes for a safe and blessed New Year!

Love,

Annette & Kevin 

Confidence...

 Years ago, Kevin and I were blessed to have a sweet, humble, loving home teacher named Jaime Jennings. During one visit, Brother Jennings said something that completely changed our lives. 

At this particular time, things in our extended family were in a little bit of chaos. We had family members going through some serious trials that were SO difficult. In addition to these, Kevin was just recovering from a systemic infection that had taken weeks to get over. Dear Brother Jennings asked how we were doing, and Kevin just unloaded all over him with the issues facing us and our loved ones. After the diatribe was over, Brother Jennings asked if he could offer a prayer for us. In this prayer, Brother Jennings said, "Dear Heavenly Father, we thank Thee that Thou hast trusted the Websters with these challenges..."

  

Wait! What?!?!?! That idea that Father was TRUSTING us with these trials just stopped us in our tracks! We knew that the difficult circumstances we encountered in our lives were learning experiences whose lessons could shape and refine us. But the idea that Heavenly Father was entrusting us with these experiences because He knew that we were ready to learn what He had to teach us, put us in partnership with God... It changed everything about how we approach trials in our lives.

  

Fast forward to now and we're facing a different set of challenges. My ongoing health issues are a trial with seemingly no end in sight. It is hard, exhausting, and often heart-breaking. Still, we know without a doubt that Heavenly Father has a plan for us and we are trusting Him to help us navigate our way through this.

Our Savior knows that life is hard. He knows exactly what we are each enduring in our lives because He lived it in our behalf during His great Atoning Sacrifice. More than anyone else in our lives, Jesus Christ "gets it"!!! Elder Dale G. Renlund of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said: "Jesus loves you, and He has confidence in you, and you can have confidence in Him." When I recently read that quote, it took me right back to dear Brother Jennings and his life-changing prayer. If Heavenly Father is trusting us with the challenges we face in life, of COURSE Jesus has confidence in us. Since He endured all the challenges we face in life, and knows perfectly how to help us navigate through them - then of COURSE we can have confidence in Him!

 

All of these thoughts have brought me so much comfort and peace. Maybe it's that misery does indeed love company, but it helps to know that we're not in this alone. Our loving Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ are walking with us, every step of the way. With such a celestial support-system, how can we not have the courage to walk the path they've set before us with faith and confidence in Them; in every footstep?

The Master of my faith...

I have an autoimmune disease. Last year, in an attempt to figure out why we couldn't get it to go back into remission, we saw a specialist. Little did we know the medical adventure we had just begun.

In all honesty, it's a long story. Bottom line is, through a series of seemingly unconnected events, tests, imaging, attempted and aborted surgery, and many - many - many appointments with different doctors, we've discovered some unforeseen issues affecting my health. These issues are things we only found because I was having tests for something else entirely. Who woulda thunk?

This past Friday, Kevin and I went up to the University of Utah to see yet another specialist. We left the office with a plan, but not the one we went for in the first place. And again, the need for yet another visit with yet another specialist. 

We've been at this for going on a year, now. You'd think we'd be scared, or frustrated, or discouraged, or some other negative emotion. That's the interesting thing to me - we're none of those things.

Sometime in this long, drawn-out process, I've had an epiphany... when you put yourself in Heavenly Father's hands, He will use life's ups and downs to make so much more of you than you could make of yourself. This series of events is no different.

Looking back over the last year of tests and doctors, I can see how one test or diagnosis led to another. One seemingly unrelated issue led to discovering others. I can see Father's hand in this journey. I feel as if He's leading me to a healthier me - physically. Spiritually, I feel Him teaching me, shaping me, and refining my spirit.

There's still a lot going on and right now I'm not getting better physically. We have a lot of unanswered questions about what's happening with my health. I'm still not able to do all that I want to. But I have seen SO many angels helping - from BOTH sides of the veil..,. most especially, my sweetheart, Kevin. And I have literally felt the prayers that have been offered up in my behalf...I have felt them lifting my spirit and warming my heart.

I have said many times that God is in the details of the details of the details of our lives. He knows what we need, and many times even before we think to ask, He is answering our prayers. I know that He who healed the sick, gave sight to the blind, made lame beggars walk and raised the dead; could heal me. I know He knows what's wrong with me and how to fix it. I have SUCH faith that He could....if....  But if not, I hope I have faith NOT to be healed. Faith to live as He would have me live if my physical impairments continue instead of getting better. I hope I have faith to say as He did "...nevertheless not as I will but as thou wilt..." 

Because here is one thing I know without question: Heavenly Father has a plan for me. He knows my potential and what I can become. I want THAT!!!  I want to be what He wants me to be because I know that will be the very best version of me. I don't always have to know why things happen the way they do - but I know - absolutely, that He does - and I trust Him - absolutely.

So, wherever this health-adventure takes us, I know we'll be ok because the Captain of our life's ship commands the winds and the waves. He can calm the troubled seas in my life, and in case I start sinking He also walks on water. 

I'll keep you all posted as to when and if we find answers... In the meantime I'll leave you with these words of the Master of our ship: "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." *John 16:33*

Days Never To Be Forgotten...

Wow! I didn't realize I haven't written anything since Christmas. I'm such a slacker...lol

Looking back, I realize that the world looks so much different today than it did a short three months ago. These can be frightening days if we let the fear and anxiety in.

For me, the thing that keeps any fear at bay is faith. The Bible says in 2 Timothy 1: 7, "For God hath not given us  the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love...".  We are the sons and daughters of a loving Heavenly Father. He knows each of us by name. He is aware of all of our concerns and everything we experience in this life. There is great strength that comes from the knowledge that you and I are children of God. Within us is a spark of divinity. There is comfort and peace in knowing that no matter how difficult and yes, scary, the world looks; He will not leave us to deal with life alone.

In the Doctrine and Covenants section 6: 34, 36-37, the Savior says: "Therefore, fear not, little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail. … "Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not. Behold the wounds which pierced my side, and also the prints of the nails in my hands and feet; be faithful, keep my commandments, and ye shall inherit the kingdom of heaven." When Jesus performed the atonement, He didn't just suffer for our sins. He endured all that we must endure in our mortal journey.  He did this so that in times like these when we are faced with trials and difficulties; He would know with PERFECT empathy, EXACTLY how to help us through it. What you're feeling RIGHT THIS MINUTE, He felt for you so He would know what you need to endure these trials.

It's ok to be a little overwhelmed. As far as I know, none of us has endured anything like this global pandemic before. It's ok to feel sorrow for things we are not able to do. There's an entire graduating class who are missing some milestone events right now. There are first time mommies who are missing baby showers. Weddings that have been planned for months are being postponed. Jobs have been lost and people are left wondering how they'll pay their bills. Feeling bereft at these events is normal. But let's also be aware of how blessed we are. We have the ability to shelter in our homes and stay safe and keep others safe as well. There is hope and help available. 

There are incredible acts of kindness and generosity playing out all over the world. People are reaching out (from a safe social distance) to help, support, and uplift one another. There is goodness, gratitude, compassion, and love all around us. 

I have faith - not fear - that we will get through this as we bless and serve one another. Even if it IS from a distance, we can help each other through this. God is on our side and will not leave us comfortless. D & C 123: 17 reads: "Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed."

The world is still a beautiful place. People are generally kind and helpful. Life is worth living and experiencing with joy. Like Louis Armstrong said so eloquently "...and I think to myself, what a wonderful world..."

PS: If you want to feel the peace and love Heavenly Father can offer you; I invite you to tune in this weekend Saturday and Sunday - to the General Conference broadcasts of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You can view them at www.churchofjesuschrist.org  I promise that as you watch and listen with a sincere desire to find peace; your desires will be fulfilled and your heart will be comforted.

Waiting for "Happily Ever After"

Last time I blogged, I wrote about after "Happily Ever After". Because of events in the lives of friends of mine, today I want to write about waiting for "Happily Ever After".

Let's begin this story with "Once Upon a Time", because so many of the best stories start that way...

Once upon a time, there was a young man named Ken Harris. Kenny was raised in a good and loving home by parents who loved the Lord and taught their children to do the same. Around the time Kenny was 21 years-old, our paths crossed and we became good friends. Over the years things changed, we moved on with our lives, but always stayed in touch and our friendship endured.

In a different place, there lived a beautiful, effervescent woman named Sonja Nelson. Sonja was also born to good and loving parents who taught her to love the Lord and keep His commandments.

Ken and Sonja each lived their lives, unknown to each other. Both served missions and served faithfully in the Church. Both went to school and had careers that they loved. Both longed to find "the one" and receive the blessing of marriage. Both longed for it, but neither found it...

Years passed...not one or two...not even five or ten. Decades passed and the dream of Temple marriage only seemed to get farther and farther out of reach. Now, don't think that Sonja and Ken were miserable. They had moments of sorrow and loneliness, but both remained steadfast and filled with faith. Honestly, effervescent is truly a word that described Sonja - and it still does! 😊

Call it fate, call it serendipity... I call it Divine Intervention. Life and circumstances brought Ken to Utah for a change in his job. That is where it all began, because Sonja was also here in Utah and working at the same place. That was it...Ken  and Sonja met... It makes me think of the Brady Bunch song. "...One day when the lady met this fellow - and they knew that it was much more than a hunch".

Love spoke and two hearts that had at times despaired, now beat in time with each other. "Whirlwind" is a word that could be used to describe their courtship. lol ...and just like that, they were engaged!!   💍

Oh, what a joyous day their wedding day was. I don't think there was a dry eye during the beautiful ceremony. If my heart was overflowing with joy for my friends, I can only imagine how theirs felt!

With this joy in their hearts, Sonja and Ken took their first steps into their "Happily Ever After".  

Continuing the manner in which they had both lived before marriage, Ken and Sonja continued being faithful to their covenants and serving the Lord. Starting a family became a new dream for them. As with many longed-for blessings, this one did not come without cost. The joy they felt in each other was tempered with the loss of several pregnancies. They too, "were newlyweds and now had to learn to go through grief and sorrow together..." *Happy Acres blog 'After...Happily Ever After...' May 21, 2018*  

Still they held on to their faith, and each other and did their best to endure it well.  Elder Neal A. Maxwell said: "Moreover, we find that sorrow can actually enlarge the mind and heart in order to 'give place,' to expanded space for later joy." The Apostle Paul wrote: "Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness." *Hebrew 12:11*

And so it was with our dearest friends, Ken and Sonja Harris. 

On August 16, 2018, just in time to give Kenny the birthday gift of his life; Sonja gave birth to a beautiful baby boy whom they named James. How could two hearts stretch to hold all the love that filled them on that miraculous day????

I look at my wonderful friends and give thanks for the miracles and blessings in their lives. I look deeper and see the love of a concerned Heavenly Father who led each of them through their faith-filled lives and blessed them so abundantly for that faith. As I watch Ken and Sonja begin this adventure we call parenthood, I am grateful for their example of "enduring well". 

When you spend time with this new little family, their joy is palpable! The love and happiness they exude is contagious!!!  When you look at the Harris family, you see that God DOES answer prayers and miracles still happen!!! 

So, Ken, Sonja, and Baby-James....congratulations!!!  We wish you love, joy, and every good thing.

  

...And may you all live "Happily Ever After"!!!!!

Fitness...Faith...and Father...

Over the years, I've struggled with my weight. Part of it is genetic, part of it is medical, and part of it has been a lack of control over my appetite and food choices. Four years ago, I began a journey to become physically healthy, fit, and strong. It hasn't been an easy road to follow. For one thing, at times it seemed as if my own body was trying to sabotage my efforts.

Every time I would make progress, I got sick (sarcoidosis for one, meningitis to mention another) OR I would get injured (torn/detached rotator-cuff that required surgery, plantar-fasciitis which required weeks of physical therapy, and repeated painful bouts of gout among other things)...see what I mean? It became very discouraging.

Then there was life itself...graduations, weddings, trips, trauma, drama, and upheaval...all seemed determined to keep me at my unwanted weight and physical condition. It was at times overwhelming and I wanted to quit! I can hear my Dad's voice in my head..."I didn't raise a quitter!"  And he would be right, he didn't!

This is where Father comes into play...Heavenly Father, that is. Because I didn't embark on this journey alone. From the very beginning, three very important men were there every step of the way. Kevin, who is on his own physical fitness journey and succeeding beautifully; encourages me daily, and celebrates my smallest success.  Jerry Shannon, who is our personal trainer and nutritionist - our loudest cheerleader - and a firm believer in our ability to succeed. Finally, but certainly NOT least of all; is our Heavenly Father. I entered into this journey with prayer. I can honestly say that I've prayed every step of the way.

It may sound odd to make this physical transformation into a spiritual journey as well, but I firmly believe that Heavenly Father wants me to be my very best self - in every way possible. For one thing, how can I go out and serve Him if I'm not physically able to do so?  I believe that Father is willing to help us as much as we need, if we will let Him in enough. I don't believe there is any aspect of our lives that is too small or seemingly insignificant not to warrant His attention and help - again, if WE let Him in. That being said, I'm NOT saying that we give up and expect Him to do everything for us. I mean, He's not going to wave a heavenly-wand and make me look like a super-model. lol  I believe we need to include Him in our efforts. I believe that if we go out and do our best, we can and should be able to turn to Him and allow Him to help with the rest.

Today, would be a good example of this. I woke up with a nasty headache. You know, the kind that makes you want to crawl back into bed and not get out again? Unfortunately, I had people depending on me for transportation today, so staying in bed was out of the question. Still, having a headache of those proportions really made me NOT want to go to the gym. I managed to whine and talk my way out of it until 2:00 pm. Missing ONE day wouldn't hurt, would it????  Except that I've set a personal goal to make it everyday - and have been determined to stick to my exercise and meal-plan - and I get measured and weighed on Friday, and I'd REALLY like to see improvement....other than that, no big deal! lol

All day long, excuses and whining kept me out of the gym. Until I finally realized that my will-power wasn't going to be enough on its own and I sent up a plea to Heaven, for help. After my last transportation duty for the afternoon, I aimed the car up the hill to the gym. I dragged myself - mentally kicking and screaming (gee, wish THAT energy would have leaked into my will-power to get me there earlier...ha ha) onto the treadmill, and got started. About 10 minutes in, my back hurt, my legs hurt, and my lungs were protesting. I prayed that I'd be able to keep going...Time to increase my speed...20 minutes into my cardio, I was sure I was going to die...no drama here! Still praying, I increased the incline and kept moving... Finally, the timer rolled over to 30 minutes and I was done!!!

I can honestly say that I felt Heaven's help getting through this today! It may seem like a trivial thing, but it's vital to me that I achieve my health and fitness goals, so I believe it's important to Him. I have faith that if I do my part, He will help me when I can't do it on my own.

In a talk entitled "Fourth Floor, Last Door", in the last General Women's Conference, President Deiter F. Uchtdorf said:

"Faith means that we trust not only in God's wisdom but that we trust also in His love. It means trusting that God loves us perfectly, that everything He does - every blessing He gives and every blessing He, for a time, withholds - is for our eternal happiness. With this kind of faith though we may not understand why certain things happen or why certain prayers go unanswered, we can know that in the end everything will make sense. 'All things (will) work together for good to them that love God'.

All will be made right. All will be well.

We can be certain that answers will come, and we may be confident that we will not only be content with the answers but we will be overwhelmed by the grace, mercy, generosity, and love of our Heavenly Father for us, His children."

I don't always understand why things happen the way they do, or why some things have to be so hard. However, I do know that I have a loving Father-in-Heaven who wants me to be happy and wants me to succeed. Knowing that - absolutely, without a doubt - gives me the faith to turn to Him and trust Him to help me. When this weight-loss/fitness journey is complete, my faith will be bigger, but the rest of me will be smaller. I call that a win, whichever way you look at it. At that point, climbing to the "Fourth floor, last door" will be easy as pie!!! lol

"I found a mountain in the middle of my road..."!

A little over a year ago I was diagnosed with Sarcoidosis. It's an inflammatory disease that is affecting my lungs. It's been a long tiring treatment process, but it's better than the lung cancer which the doctors originally thought I had. I thought I was doing pretty well about keeping my moral up. It hasn't always been easy. I am not the most patient of patients, but I was trying to keep a positive outlook on things. After all, I was eating healthy and getting regular exercise. I FINALLY see the inches coming off and was feeling good about my progress.

About three weeks ago, I started having blurry vision. I also had a headache that never really went away. The headache alternated between bearable to migraine. Thinking that my eye-glass prescription needed to be updated, I took myself to the Eye Doctor. Imagine my dismay when I learned that I have severe cataracts in both eyes. The blurry vision is the cataract in my left eye which is clouding the vision-center of my eyeball. The Eye Doctor immediately made an appointment for me to see a specialist to discuss my options.

I have to be honest. This new health issue absolutely threw me. I was expecting to triumph over Sarcoidosis with faith and trust in Heavenly Father intact. Now the news that I was essentially going blind shook me to the core. I threw a really good pity-party...bet you're all glad I didn't invite you! lol I was pretty discouraged to say the least.

I threw a pity-party, but I didn't build a home and live in a pity-palace. I turned to my Father-in-Heaven. I felt His comfort. I felt Him whisper peace and calm assurances to my heart. I leaned heavily on my Savior Jesus Christ and felt Him buoy me up. I realized that I had SO much for which to be grateful; that dwelling on this setback is counter-productive.  I realized again that "I can do all things through Christ, which strengtheneth me." *Philippeans 4:13

We've since been to the eye-specialist. As he looked at the cataract in my left eye, he said, "Wow! That's bad!" Not very confidence-boosting, let me tell you! lol The right eye was just as bad, but not blocking my vision, yet. Bottom line is that surgery will fix it. YAY! Booo for ANOTHER surgery, but at least it can be treated. The best news is that in fixing the cataracts, they can correct my vision so I won't need distance glasses anymore. That will be amazing! I've worn glasses or contacts since I was 8 years old. I'm looking forward to that positive benefit.

Surgery on my left eye will be November 23 and on my right eye December 14. Recovery is supposed to be relatively quick and pain-free. I'm praying for THAT outcome!  

One thing I'm learning (again) is that I can do "hard things". I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ. There is honestly nothing They could ask of me that I wouldn't willingly endure in order to return and live with them again. I have faith that if I cheerfully submit my will to Theirs and endure (again, cheerfully) to the end, I can live with them and my loved ones in a Celestial family forever. That is my goal and nothing is worth jeopardizing that. Sometimes we lose sight of that bigger picture and throw pity-parties...that's ok. It's part of life and learning to "endure well". I KNOW that turning to Heavenly Father and trusting Him to help us through hard-things is the best way to make it.

Hilary Weeks' music video for this song is one that I absolutely love. It's helped me focus on the view from the top of my "mountain" many times...