Ding-dong...

...the trache is dead! Which old trache??? Netty's trache!!! Ding-dong Netty's trache is dead!!! It's gone where all old taches go, below? Below below Yo Ho Ho Ho Ho!!!"

The trache came out today. Breathing normally and feeling much better! Baby steps forward!

I was tempted to ask Marc if I could borrow his bus and run it over a few times, but he wasn't here! lol

Yay! Netty's tracheostomy-free!!!!

More tender mercies!!!!!!!!

Updates

To be perfectly honest, anything that happened in my life between Monday, May 16, 2011 and Wednesday afternoon, May 18, 2011; is a big pain-filled; drug-induced blur.

I don't remember much except swirling grey darkness and kind voices and gentle hands reaching out to comfort me from the darkness. My life became very focused on when the next time the little green monitor light would flash on my medication pump. Those last few minutes between relief could get excruciating. At those times I began to feel something else. Somewhere, out there in the world outside of this ICU, someone was saying a prayer for me. In those moments, I would find peace and rest; and be able to carry on to the next time.

I've been here in ICU for 12 days, now. Fully five days longer than originally planned. I've had some of the most terrifying and painful moments of my life while I've been here. Times when the pain in the broken parts of my face merged into one big throb; and others when they'd all perform their individual solos in exquisite detail. Other times - terrifying times - when my trache tube would plug completely closed. At those times there didn't seem to be a mollecule of air on this planet with my name on it. Trying to find air for lungs that are completely blocked from it is painful and frightening.

I went into this procedure fully expecting to become better acquainted with my Savior through the pain and suffering I expected to endure. ....and I have. In the quiet of the night, alone in my room, struggling for breath or against pain, prayer was the only relief to be found. I know prayer is what found me those scraps of air that kept me alive the other night.

But most interestingly enough, where I've become better acquainted with my savior has been through the hands, arms, and voices of those He sent to care for me from both sides of the veil. So often we hear how He uses us to be angels in other people's lives. I've seen this with the angels here in ICU and those taking care of my family at my house.

Yes, I've become better acquainted with my Savior throughout this process...but as usual; not in the ways I expected. I asked Him to teach me what He wanted me to learn from all this. As usual, it was in His way, not Netty's way. All I can say is that I'm humbled by this opportunity He gave to me.

I have a dream...

It's not a HUGE - DRAMATIC dream...pretty simple,but pretty important to me.

I live a happy existance with the love of my life and our two beautiful daughters. My dream is to grow old with my sweetheart and watch these two amazing daughters find their sweethearts. Then I want to be the fun and whacky grandma that their kids can't wait to spend time with. I want to go out with my Kevy and serve missions for our Church, so we can share the joy we've found in the gospel.

The problem with my dream is that I have severe sleep-apnea. So severe that the breathing machine I use at night is not really keeping it at bay. Without surgical intervention to correct the small size of my jaws and open up my airway; I am almost certainly going to have a stroke or a heart attack.

So, tomorrow morning...BRIGHT AND EARLY...I will head down to the hospital in Provo and undergo a 10-procedure surgery. I go with the love and prayers of all my friends and family...here on earth; and those who have gone on before me. I feel the love and prayers of all of you. I need you to know that without them, I don't think I could face this.

To be honest, I'm a little scared. I also have great faith that God knows my heart and sees the value of my dream. With that faith, I can hope with all my heart to see my dream come true.

I love you all! See you when I'm all better!!

Hugs and kisses,

Netty