It's for me!

I've had some interesting experiences, thoughts, feelings, etc. about my fitness goals and progress, lately. 

Yesterday was measuring day at the gym. My trainer, Jerry Shannon, was SO proud of my progress. Especially after my diagnosis with Sarcoidosis has kept me from doing as much as I have wanted. The numbers for this measuring day were up six pounds of muscle and down 9.2 pounds of fat! I was SO excited!  I've been at this for two years. For the first year and a half, the scale didn't move...I mean, AT ALL!!!  That was because I was losing and gaining equal amounts of fat and muscle. From the beginning, Jerry has said, "The scale is NOT your friend!" He was right.  It took a lot of mental gymnastics to keep myself from getting discouraged when the scale wouldn't move.

In the last six months however, the scale has been starting a downward slide that makes me really happy. I'm losing more and more fat as I gain muscle. Gaining more muscle actually helps you burn fat - go figure. lol

Today something wonderful happened at the gym AGAIN!!  This time, I was on my own, doing my leg-workout. OUCH!!! By the way...it really hurts! But it's a GOOD hurt, lol. Two women whom I have seen at the gym since I've been there, but not really gotten to know; came up to talk to me. They said they've been watching my progress and really noticed a difference when I came in today. They complimented me on how much better I looked and encouraged me to keep it up. They certainly gave my morning a lift!

On the flip side of this, there have been people in my life who have doubted my resilience and determination. They've said hurtful things and told me that when I talk/post/blog about this, it's a little annoying. While such comments hurt my feelings, they don't deter me from my goals, thank goodness.

I am not one who seeks the spotlight. I am - or have been - very shy throughout my life. Kevin has helped me overcome that a bit. But on my own, I am a sit-at-the-back-of-class-and-don't-speak-up kind of person.  I felt a little awkward when these two wonderful ladies talked to me, today - even as I felt lifted by their encouragement. As I went through the rest of my time at the gym, I had some thoughts about all this.

Over the years, as I've fought my weight issues, I've tried SO many different things....for a myriad of reasons. To get my mom off my back, to try and get pregnant, to please Kevin, to avoid health issues, etc.  This time, I am doing this for me. The nutrition-program that Jerry devised coupled with the exercise routine that is tailored for me combine in a complete wellness program that has me feeling better, stronger and more energized than I have in my entire life!!!! Even If I never lost another inch, I wouldn't stop doing this - because it WORKS and because I feel GREAT!!! 

As I thought of all of this, along with my discomfort from getting attention; another thought occurred to me. I would stand on a stage in front of any number of people and tell my story - in the spotlight, so to speak - if it meant that I could help even one other person find what I've found and feel as much better as I do!  This process has given me hope. Because I've learned to do hard things (including this), I'm finding that I have the courage to try new things. My entire life is changing because I'm learning to believe in myself and have the courage to spread my wings.

So let the doubters doubt and the haters hate (as my son-in-law said to me the other day). This bird is gonna fly! ...And if along the way I can inspire or encourage others in their flight, I'm more than happy to do it!

Thanks to all who have encouraged, supported, and cheered me on! You're helping more than you know!