Waiting for "Happily Ever After"

Last time I blogged, I wrote about after "Happily Ever After". Because of events in the lives of friends of mine, today I want to write about waiting for "Happily Ever After".

Let's begin this story with "Once Upon a Time", because so many of the best stories start that way...

Once upon a time, there was a young man named Ken Harris. Kenny was raised in a good and loving home by parents who loved the Lord and taught their children to do the same. Around the time Kenny was 21 years-old, our paths crossed and we became good friends. Over the years things changed, we moved on with our lives, but always stayed in touch and our friendship endured.

In a different place, there lived a beautiful, effervescent woman named Sonja Nelson. Sonja was also born to good and loving parents who taught her to love the Lord and keep His commandments.

Ken and Sonja each lived their lives, unknown to each other. Both served missions and served faithfully in the Church. Both went to school and had careers that they loved. Both longed to find "the one" and receive the blessing of marriage. Both longed for it, but neither found it...

Years passed...not one or two...not even five or ten. Decades passed and the dream of Temple marriage only seemed to get farther and farther out of reach. Now, don't think that Sonja and Ken were miserable. They had moments of sorrow and loneliness, but both remained steadfast and filled with faith. Honestly, effervescent is truly a word that described Sonja - and it still does! 😊

Call it fate, call it serendipity... I call it Divine Intervention. Life and circumstances brought Ken to Utah for a change in his job. That is where it all began, because Sonja was also here in Utah and working at the same place. That was it...Ken  and Sonja met... It makes me think of the Brady Bunch song. "...One day when the lady met this fellow - and they knew that it was much more than a hunch".

Love spoke and two hearts that had at times despaired, now beat in time with each other. "Whirlwind" is a word that could be used to describe their courtship. lol ...and just like that, they were engaged!!   💍

Oh, what a joyous day their wedding day was. I don't think there was a dry eye during the beautiful ceremony. If my heart was overflowing with joy for my friends, I can only imagine how theirs felt!

With this joy in their hearts, Sonja and Ken took their first steps into their "Happily Ever After".  

Continuing the manner in which they had both lived before marriage, Ken and Sonja continued being faithful to their covenants and serving the Lord. Starting a family became a new dream for them. As with many longed-for blessings, this one did not come without cost. The joy they felt in each other was tempered with the loss of several pregnancies. They too, "were newlyweds and now had to learn to go through grief and sorrow together..." *Happy Acres blog 'After...Happily Ever After...' May 21, 2018*  

Still they held on to their faith, and each other and did their best to endure it well.  Elder Neal A. Maxwell said: "Moreover, we find that sorrow can actually enlarge the mind and heart in order to 'give place,' to expanded space for later joy." The Apostle Paul wrote: "Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness." *Hebrew 12:11*

And so it was with our dearest friends, Ken and Sonja Harris. 

On August 16, 2018, just in time to give Kenny the birthday gift of his life; Sonja gave birth to a beautiful baby boy whom they named James. How could two hearts stretch to hold all the love that filled them on that miraculous day????

I look at my wonderful friends and give thanks for the miracles and blessings in their lives. I look deeper and see the love of a concerned Heavenly Father who led each of them through their faith-filled lives and blessed them so abundantly for that faith. As I watch Ken and Sonja begin this adventure we call parenthood, I am grateful for their example of "enduring well". 

When you spend time with this new little family, their joy is palpable! The love and happiness they exude is contagious!!!  When you look at the Harris family, you see that God DOES answer prayers and miracles still happen!!! 

So, Ken, Sonja, and Baby-James....congratulations!!!  We wish you love, joy, and every good thing.

  

...And may you all live "Happily Ever After"!!!!!

After...

"Happily Ever After"...

Have you ever wondered what happens after the characters in the fairy-tale romances ride off into the sunset for their "Happily Ever After"?  Do all the moments after that epic climax stay perfect in the rosy-glow of sunset? How do our fairy-tale heroes and heroines handle the bumps in the road of everyday life? And do they truly stay "Happily Ever After"?

Thirty years ago, Kevin and I took our first steps into our own "Happily Ever After". Our wedding day was everything I ever dreamed it would be. It was as perfect a day as I wished for.

Two days later, we packed up my life and drove off into our own sunset. Then reality happened...

I immediately had to find a job. Kevin was in his last year of college. We had to learn how to be happily married, and then I unexpectedly got pregnant. (We were actually trying NOT to get pregnant) We were adjusting to that new dynamic when I miscarried (the first of 10). We were newlyweds and now we had to learn how to go through grief and sorrow together. 

Thirty years ago....and yet it seems like yesterday. When we got engaged, I remember thinking "Wow, when we've been married 20 years I'll be 45...and 55 on our 30th anniversary!" It seemed so far in the distant future. Yet, here we are...

Over the last 30 years we've gone through some hard things. We've had some crazy adventures and laughed a lot. We've had some more grief and sorrow and helped each other weather every storm. When I reflect on the 30 years of our marriage, the golden thread running through the picture in my mind is love. Love for each other, love for our Heavenly Father, and love for the family He helped us make. That love and our partnership with our Heavenly Father have been the glue that kept us strong and kept us together. That and a really whacky sense of humor. 

When Kevin told his parents that he was going to ask me to marry him, after his dad quit laughing; he said, "Well, you'll never be bored!!!" Kevin would tell you that his dad was right, and he never has been bored. That's the benefit of having a really warped sense of humor and an ability to laugh at your own foibles.

Alan Jackson wrote a song entitled "Remember When...". It has become "our song". 

"Remember when 30 seemed so old? Now looking back, it's just a stepping stone - from where we are, where we've been, swore we'd do it all again...remember when?

Remember when we said when we turned grey, when the children grow up and move away; we won't be sad, we'll be glad for all the life we've had...and we'll remember when..."

Kevin and I both have said that we'd do it all again...all of it....

I guess that kind of answers my original question - do they stay "Happily Ever After?". 

Living our lives with the love of our lives IS our "Happily Ever After" because the hard things are bearable when you share them with your sweetheart and help each other through them. Conversely, the good and happy things are exponentially better and happier because you have someone with whom you can share the joy. 

So, Kevin...on the 30th Anniversary of OUR "Happily Ever After", here's to us and an eternity of more happiness-ever-after!  I would still say "yes", and would do it all again if it meant that I got to spend my life with you.

Happy Anniversary, my handsome-Prince!  I love you more!

                                       

Happy Mother's Day

To my grown-up daughters;

This Mother's Day, I wanted to dedicate this post to you because you're the reason I get to celebrate this weekend. 

To my Mandy;

You made me a Mommy!  Oh what fun we had as we both began this mommy-daughter adventure!  You were my little-bitty-buddy. We did everything together. You gave me the gift of seeing the world through a child's eyes again. Oh, how I loved getting to be your mommy!

Much too quickly, you changed from my baby into a lovely young woman. Oh how I loved being your mom - every step of the way! What great friends we've become!  How I love the relationship we're developing. I love our theater/movie-dates. I love that we can  and do talk about everything. I am grateful that you trust me enough to talk to me about so many things. I'm blessed to count you among my dearest friends!!!

To my Jackie;

You were my unexpected blessing!  When we started the adoption process the second time, we thought you'd be a baby...and a boy!!  What a delightful surprise we had when we realized that we were going to add you to our little family!  How amazing that you fit into your spot in our family so seamlessly!  Right from the start, you wound your way around the hearts of every family member. I'll never forget watching Bonpa see you for the first time. I swear I heard his big ol' heart fall 'SPLAT!!!', right at your feet!!!

As it was with your sister, you grew up way too fast!  But what fun we had, you and I!  How many driving-adventures have we had? Silly times, funny times - times when we scared each other-silly! How grateful I am for your fun and funny personality. I have loved the times I got to be around you and your friends. Y'all never failed to make me laugh. How grateful I am for your creative-artist's-soul. You taught me to see the world through different eyes. You see the world through an artist's eyes and have taught me to look at things on a deeper level. Thank you for that. I love our relationship. I am grateful to be your mom and your friend. You...my unexpected blessing.

To both of you;

One of my favorite songs describes how I feel about being the mom to two such wonderful daughters...

"In my daughters' eyes, everyone is equal. Darkness turns to light and my world is at peace. These miracles God gave to me, give me strength when I am weak. I find reason to believe, in my daughters' eyes.

In my daughters' eyes, I can see the future. A reflection of who I am and what will be. And though they'll grow and someday leave, maybe raise families, when I'm gone I hope you'll see how happy they made me; for I'll be there...in my daughters' eyes." (paraphrased from Martina McBride's song)

Getting to be your mom has been one of the greatest gifts of my life. So on this Mother's Day, I thank you for giving me the gift of motherhood. I love you both with all my heart - I always will.

Happy Mother's Day!

Saying good-bye...

...and letting go...

This Saturday, April 7, 2018, we celebrated the life of my sister-in-law, Debra Lynn Barbezat. Debra was married to my brother, Marc Barbezat for 15 years, but they had a friendship of over 23 years. She passed away due to complications from Parkinson's Disease. It was hard to see her go since she was so young - only 64 years-old.

Her memorial was lovely - full of flowers, friends, family, and loving memories. This is our Debra:

"Well, it's hard to say good bye and let go

And it's hard to see it end

When the mem'ries we've just made

May never happen again.

But it's harder for time to ever erase

The together times we've shared.

So, when we're apart remember

All the love we shared together

And for all that love,

Thank the Lord above

Who showed us the way

That we can be together, forever someday"

*Michael McClean - 'Together, Forever, Someday'*

Seeing me...

The other day, I was shopping online for a new swim suit. Amanda was helping me because I tend to stick with the same (boring - according to my girls...lol) style. 

As we shopped, Mandy would point out suits that she thought I'd look good in. Frequently, I had to say, "No, that wouldn't work." When she asked why not, I had to explain that there are parts of my anatomy that don't fit certain kinds of suits; due to my large size tummy.

After about five or more times of having this conversation, I thought she was maybe getting frustrated with me; so I apologized for repeating myself. At that point, Amanda said something that was profound and immensely touching. She said, "Mom, I'm sorry. When I look at you, I don't see those things. I just see YOU!!" WOW!

The only other person who has truly seen me this way - into my heart - through my soul; is Kevin. I thought him loving me this way was a precious gift. Certainly one I'm not at all sure I have earned.

Now, I see that I have been given this gift twice. I can't think of one thing I've done in this life to deserve such an amazing blessing. Maybe I was REALLY good in the pre-existence. All I know is that I am grateful beyond my ability to express.

So, thank you, Amanda - even though those words seem inadequate to express what is overflowing in my heart right now. I want you to know that I "see" you, too.

I love you!

Love, Mom

Thankful

Today I am thankful. Well, to be honest, I try to live everyday with a thankful heart.  But today I am especially thankful.

I'm getting over bronchitis, and today I feel more like myself than I have in a week. So...thankful.

I was able to get over and visit a friend for an hour or so. She always lifts my spirits. So...thankful.

I did some service for a family member. So...thankful.

Last night, the Prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints President Thomas S. Monson, passed away. He has been an Apostle in full-time service of the Church for 54 years. He was 36 at the time of his initial call to the Apostleship. That is a wonderful legacy of service to God and his fellowmen. President Monson was a great example of humble, Christ-like living. So...thankful.

The organization of the leadership of the LDS Church follows the patterns dictated by Heavenly Father. There is no campaigning to become Prophet. There is no voting or popularity contest. Heavenly Father has set His Church in order and we follow His plan. The most senior Apostle steps up to fill the place of the Prophet and is ordained by the Quorum of the 12 Apostles - just as it was when Jesus established His Church when He was on the earth. The continuity and dignity of the succession of modern day prophets increases my testimony that Heavenly Father leads His Church through the Priesthood Keys held and utilized by His Ordained leaders. So...thankful.

There is peace in my heart, even as I mourn the passing of a great, but humble servant of God. Peace that comes from knowing - absolutely, without a doubt, that this life is NOT the end. That this beloved, kind, gentle man is now reunited with his sweetheart, Francis, and the Savior whom he served so well. This knowledge gives me peace and hope.  So...thankful.

Today I am thankful - especially thankful for a loving Father who provides the means, tools, and path for us to make our way home to Him. Today I am thankful...