We talk of Christ..

This past Sunday, our Bishop quoted a scripture that got me pondering this Christmas season and what it means to me.  It happens to be one of my favorites, (I have many...lol) and it is one that formed the foundation of how Kevin and I tried to raise our children.

2 Nephi 25:26 -

"And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophesies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins." 

To me, Christmas is a celebration of Jesus Christ. His birth heralded the beginning of the greatest gift mankind would ever receive. It is the most beautiful story I have ever heard. It has been the focal point of our Christmas celebrations since Kevin and I started our married life. Because it brings us such joy - as we rejoice in Christ - we have taught this story to our children. We did this so that they could know "to what source they may look for a remission of their sins." 

Now our children are married and starting their own lives and traditions. I hope with all my heart that they take the things they learned here at home as we "talked of Christ" and use them to begin the foundation of a family that will be strong and steadfast in the Gospel. But also a family that will approach each Christmas Season with joy in their hearts as they too, "rejoice in Christ".

Today is Christmas Eve. Tonight, we will gather with family and friends. We will talk of Christ and His birth. We will tell, again, the beautiful story of the Nativity. We will soak-in the wonder, magic and majesty of that long-ago night in Bethlehem.  I think, as I look around me and see those I love most enjoying the sweetness of this precious time together; I will, as Mary of old, keep these things, and ponder them in my heart... 

From all of us here at "Happy Acres"...Merry Christmas! 

It Only Takes a Moment...

I have been writing this post in my head for months, now. Somehow I never got past the emotion of it long enough to get it here on the blog. 

I didn't get to give birth to my children, but I felt that moment I think every mother feels. You know the one - where you look at your child and for the first time, your heart beats outside your body. You feel a love that is unlike any other you have felt before or will feel again. Oh, I felt that....so truly, and so deeply, it was almost painful in its intensity. In the musical, "Hello Dolly" there's a song entitled "It Only Takes a Moment" which seems to fit: "I held her for an instant, but my arms felt sure and strong. It only takes a moment to be loved a whole life long..." 

I thought (naively) that because we had to work so hard to get our children; that I was better prepared to cherish them than a parent for whom having children came easily. Now, I'm not sure having children is easy for any parent....it wrings your heart in so many ways.  When I first became a mother, I was told that I would love one stage of parenting or another more than others. I honestly found that I cherished each stage of my children's development. Each brought new challenges and new adventures. I delighted in seeing the world anew through my children's eyes. That being said, someone also told me that once your child begins to walk, every step they take is a step away from you. While that may sound melancholy, it is as it should be. Our children are not truly "ours"; they are entrusted to us by our Heavenly Father.

All too soon, milestone birthdays came and went. Chubby baby hands and feet gave way to long, elegant hands and feet that out-grew shoes every time I blinked. Phones, make-up and boys replaced dolls, princesses and fairies. Homework, science-fair projects, and research papers sped us at light-speed through school until before I could catch my breath; I was watching poised, beautiful young ladies walk across a stage to accept diplomas. 

I remember my dear mom struggling - and not always successfully with her own children growing up and moving away. At the time it felt as if the "apron strings" would strangle me. Once I had children of my own, I had so much greater empathy for my poor mom. Letting go is painful, but rewarding at the same time. Being a parent is often like that - a mix of emotions....bittersweet, hard and rewarding, frustrating and joyful, poignant and fun.  We hold them close as we prepare to let them go.

Somehow, in the after-high-school-life that was so very fleeting; handsome, charming young men snuck in and stole the hearts of my precious girls. Oh, how fast those courtships flew. Before I could catch my breath, my babies were beautiful, radiant brides, kneeling across the alter from their Prince Charmings. Each of my girls has now ridden off into their own Happily-Ever-After; leaving me alone with my own Prince Charming. Our sometimes noisy, chaotic house has settled down to a more quietly controlled chaos. Our girls and their sweethearts come back and the noise-level increases only to recede too quickly. There is great satisfaction in realizing that your children have grown up to be interesting people with whom you have become dear friends.

Don't get me wrong, we are enjoying this new phase of our lives. Kevin and I love being together. We love the relationships we have with our children and sons-in-law. Being "empty-nesters" is an adventure all its own.  Still, looking back, I realize that the song "It Only Takes a Moment" applies not just to the love at first sight we felt when we met our girls. It also applies to how quickly our time with them growing up has flown by. I often tell my friends who are just beginning this fascinating journey of parenthood - "Don't blink, treasure every second, because it flies by". In truth it only takes a moment to love a whole life long..."

Post-Birthday wishes...

This past Tuesday, the 24th, was Kevin's Birthday.  It was kind of a bummer-birthday for him. Not only did I have cataract surgery the day before, but I was on crutches and unable to bear any weight on my left foot, at all. So instead of me spoiling him and making a fuss over his special day; Kevin was literally waiting on me - hand and foot.  Needless to say, this Birthday did NOT go down as a winner in the record-books.

That being said. I need to take a moment to write this tribute to this wonderful man I married. He will probably be embarrassed by all this, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do....and I didn't get the chance to make a big fuss on his actual birthday, so I'm using my literary license to do it here.

I have said it before, but Kevin is quite frankly, the best man I know. He is handsome, quiet and strong and funny. He is kind and sweet and gentle (and handsome). He is fiercely loyal, and unfailingly honest (and handsome). He loves his Heavenly Father and honors the Priesthood he holds.

Kevin grew up with two brothers, so Heavenly Father decided to throw him into the deep end of the estrogen-ocean and give him only daughters to raise. He loves his girls...he is very protective of them, and has set a very high bench-mark for their husbands to follow. As a Dad, he could be strict, but he never failed to take time to play and have fun.To this day, the Christmas holidays aren't complete unless he's quoted the dialogue and sung every word of "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas". 

For some crazy reason, Kevin loves me. 

He puts up with all my faults, foibles, health-issues, and weaknesses - and loves me anyways. He sees my heart and loves me, heart and soul. His love is a gift beyond price.  We've been married for 27 years. 

There are still times when he walks in and (as my mom used to say) my heart goes "pitter-patter". (Did I mention that I think he's handsome?????  Just checking...lol)  All these years later, and he's still the one I want to wake up next to, the one whose hand I want holding mine, the one I want to slow-dance with in the kitchen like we're the only two people on earth, the one I want to grow old with.

So, even though this wasn't the most stellar of Birthdays for you, Kevin. I hope you'll accept this "tribute" with all the love prompted it.  I love you, Darlin'!

"I found a mountain in the middle of my road..."!

A little over a year ago I was diagnosed with Sarcoidosis. It's an inflammatory disease that is affecting my lungs. It's been a long tiring treatment process, but it's better than the lung cancer which the doctors originally thought I had. I thought I was doing pretty well about keeping my moral up. It hasn't always been easy. I am not the most patient of patients, but I was trying to keep a positive outlook on things. After all, I was eating healthy and getting regular exercise. I FINALLY see the inches coming off and was feeling good about my progress.

About three weeks ago, I started having blurry vision. I also had a headache that never really went away. The headache alternated between bearable to migraine. Thinking that my eye-glass prescription needed to be updated, I took myself to the Eye Doctor. Imagine my dismay when I learned that I have severe cataracts in both eyes. The blurry vision is the cataract in my left eye which is clouding the vision-center of my eyeball. The Eye Doctor immediately made an appointment for me to see a specialist to discuss my options.

I have to be honest. This new health issue absolutely threw me. I was expecting to triumph over Sarcoidosis with faith and trust in Heavenly Father intact. Now the news that I was essentially going blind shook me to the core. I threw a really good pity-party...bet you're all glad I didn't invite you! lol I was pretty discouraged to say the least.

I threw a pity-party, but I didn't build a home and live in a pity-palace. I turned to my Father-in-Heaven. I felt His comfort. I felt Him whisper peace and calm assurances to my heart. I leaned heavily on my Savior Jesus Christ and felt Him buoy me up. I realized that I had SO much for which to be grateful; that dwelling on this setback is counter-productive.  I realized again that "I can do all things through Christ, which strengtheneth me." *Philippeans 4:13

We've since been to the eye-specialist. As he looked at the cataract in my left eye, he said, "Wow! That's bad!" Not very confidence-boosting, let me tell you! lol The right eye was just as bad, but not blocking my vision, yet. Bottom line is that surgery will fix it. YAY! Booo for ANOTHER surgery, but at least it can be treated. The best news is that in fixing the cataracts, they can correct my vision so I won't need distance glasses anymore. That will be amazing! I've worn glasses or contacts since I was 8 years old. I'm looking forward to that positive benefit.

Surgery on my left eye will be November 23 and on my right eye December 14. Recovery is supposed to be relatively quick and pain-free. I'm praying for THAT outcome!  

One thing I'm learning (again) is that I can do "hard things". I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ. There is honestly nothing They could ask of me that I wouldn't willingly endure in order to return and live with them again. I have faith that if I cheerfully submit my will to Theirs and endure (again, cheerfully) to the end, I can live with them and my loved ones in a Celestial family forever. That is my goal and nothing is worth jeopardizing that. Sometimes we lose sight of that bigger picture and throw pity-parties...that's ok. It's part of life and learning to "endure well". I KNOW that turning to Heavenly Father and trusting Him to help us through hard-things is the best way to make it.

Hilary Weeks' music video for this song is one that I absolutely love. It's helped me focus on the view from the top of my "mountain" many times...

Don't let me steer you wrong...

...and other Sunday activities...

What a busy, fun, entertaining Sunday we've had!

First of all, Church was AWESOME! I love going to my Sunday meetings, partaking of the Sacrament (I NEED that renewal each week), and learning the Gospel. Today Kevin got to substitute teach in Gospel Doctrine. Since he was on-call for work, I helped him prepare the lesson so I could be back up in case he got paged. Let me tell you, I said a few prayers for him NOT to get paged! Ask me to teach almost anything else in Church, but Gospel Doctrine lessons intimidate me!  Kev did a great job!!!

We got home at the same time as our neighbors, Hallie and David Whiting. An across the driveway chat lead to an invitation for them to come over for dinner. The left-over stew from yesterday was a big hit! YUM!  We LOVE our neighbors! We finished just in time for our Home Teachers to come by.

We have the BEST home teachers! Shane Lee and his son, Ryker are faithful and fun! We love their visits. We always talk too long and feel badly for keeping them away from home so long!  But they keep coming back and we truly appreciate it!

After we wore out the Home Teachers, we jumped in the truck to go visit Mom Webster. But first we stopped to do some steer-wrangling.  No, you didn't read that wrong. We wrangled a Black Angus steer on the way to visit Mom. lol Yeah, it sounds silly to me when I read it, too.

As we drove from our house towards Pioneer Crossing, one of the steers from the local herd had gotten through the fence and was munching happily on the grass on the roadside. Dumb steer!  His buddies were all gathered at the fence, pushing on it to see what the big attraction was. Guess they thought the grass was greener....lol Knowing cows, it was only a matter of time before the whole herd followed our hapless steer out onto the road and got hurt. After making some inquiries to find out whose herd it was (without success), we decided to try and round him up and get him on the right side of the fence.

Kevin used the truck to keep him from running further into the street. With the help of a good samaritan who was out for a jog, I got the steer back to a section of fence that I could open. Our walking Big Mac expressed his opinion of our herding technique by lifting his tail and pooping in our general direction...ingrate!  I held the fence back while our jogger-friend encouraged our wandering moo-ster to go home. Once he saw the opening in the fence, he couldn't get back to his buddies fast enough. That's gratitude for you! lol With Sir Loin of Beef back in his grassy kingdom, we moooooved on to finish our journey to visit Mom.

Mom and Ella (Mom's best friend) had just finished dinner. We got hugs and kisses then they took us back to Mom's room so we could show Mom the "goodies" we'd brought. The lotion and body-wash were quickly over shadowed by the lure of chocolate. Mom and Ella made short work of the Milky Way candy bars we brought. Before we could say "YUM", they were out the door and back to their evening TV show. Here's your hat, what's your hurry?! lol They were done visiting just that fast, and we were dismissed. We could hear them laughing and chatting as we walked back out the door. At least they're happy and they have each other for company.

We've been counseled to "make the Sabbath a delight". I'm not sure if today qualifies as "a delight", but it certainly was entertaining!

Has it only been 16 years???

Has it only been sixteen years since this little sunshine-girl walked into our lives?

 But it was...16 years ago, we met our Jackie for the very first time.

So much has happened, and so much has changed. Some things haven't. She still makes this "Popeye" face...

Now she's all grown up and poised to step out into the world with her Lucas. 

The day we met Jackie, she was playing in a yard full of neighborhood kids and cousins. She stepped out of the crowd and into our hearts. She was a blond-haired, green-eyed pixie with a fun and spunky personality. It used to scare me how Jackie dove into life head-first and full-speed! She had such an exuberance for trying new things! Along the way, she got the bumps, bruises, and broken bones as evidence of that exuberance. lol

Now she's a tall, lovely young woman with a fun and spunky personality and a joi de vie (joy of living) that is all her own. 

She's filled our home with love, laughter, friends, noise, and fun. She's filled my heart in a way that's all her own and for which I am grateful beyond measure.

They say that a daughter is just a little girl who grows up to be your best friend. I am doubly blessed to have two daughters who have grown up to be two of my best friends.

Jackie walked into our family and filled a space we didn't even realize was there until she filled it so seamlessly. The last 16 years have gone by much too quickly, but oh, how grateful I am that we have had this lovely ray of sunshine to bless our lives this long.

J has definitely kept us on our toes and made being parents an adventure. I'm grateful for that, and look forward with great anticipation to see where life takes her and what further adventures she and Lucas can dream up for themselves.

Happy Anniversary, J. We love you with all our hearts.

I am a firm believer in...

...happily ever after! I believe "Happily Ever After" can happen to anyone. It can become your reality if you choose to live that way. My own "Happily Ever After" began in earnest 27 years ago, today.

That was the day I went here:

...and married him for time and all eternity:

Up to that point in my life, it was the happiest day of my life!

I can honestly say that every day since has just been better and better. That's not to say that there haven't been some REALLY difficult times that tested our faith, commitment, and devotion to each other. But we always worked together to get through them. For us, the key was keeping our Heavenly Father as our partner in every part of our lives. ...and it's worked for us.

Marrying Kevin was the best choice I could have made. He's my soul-mate, my confidant, my partner in crime, my shoulder to cry on, my knight in shining armor, and my very best friend. 

Twenty-seven years ago, we took our first steps into our own "Happily Ever After" and have never regretted it. Now we stand looking out into the rest of our "Happily Ever After" and realize the best is yet to come.

Happy Anniversary, my dearest Kevin. I love you with all of my heart!

52

Friday, April 17, 2015 was my Birthday! I turned 52 years-old that day. Fifty-two...52...FIFTY-TWO????? How can I possibly be 52??  I don't FEEL 52. lol  Most days I feel the same age I was when I got married - 25...that's 52 backwards...lol Some days I act 12 - other days I feel 3 and a half - some days, (usually after working in the yard or at the gym) I feel 82. I guess I've decided that age is just a number. It's what you do with the years allotted to you that truly matters. My sister-in-law, Debbie Webster always says, "Learn from it, grow from it, and MOVE ON!!"

For some reason, this Birthday got me thinking about the lessons I've learned in my 52 years on earth. Some lessons have been silly, others profound.  Here are a few I'd like to share.

Throwing a water balloon at a Carabinieri (Italian State Police) car is a BAD idea. As a follow up to that lesson, water balloons, even when empty, do not flush down the toilet. Never stick a rubber spatula in a blender with the blender running. In Arizona, if you have an abundance of crickets in your yard or on your patio, the black widow spiders will follow. And finally, soap for hand washing dishes and an automatic dishwasher do not mix well.

All humor aside, I have learned some things that hopefully are making me a better person. As a young teenager, I learned that I am a child of God. I have a loving Heavenly Father. He knows me by name. He knows my needs and loves me enough to provide for those needs. He knows my heart. He knows my faults and flaws and loves me enough to help me overcome them. He loves me enough to provide a Savior to atone for my sins and show me the pathway home. I learned that Jesus Christ not only atoned for my sins, but He suffered all my grief and pain so that He could have perfect empathy and know how to perfectly succor me through the trials and challenges of my life.

I've learned that the greatest gift God gave me is the gift of agency. I've learned that agency isn't free - there are always consequences to our choices. While we may be free to make whatever choice we desire, we are never free to choose the consequences of our choices....and sometimes those consequences come back around to bite us in the rear. I've learned to be grateful to my Heavenly Father for all things in my life - great and small. I've learned that there's no way to pay Him back for all He's done for me, no matter how much I may wish I could. I've learned that ultimately, the one thing He wants is for us to surrender our will to His - just as His Son, Jesus Christ did. I've learned that when I follow the path Heavenly Father has laid before me, I find the greatest joy and fulfillment in my life.

I've learned that motherhood was more wonderful than I ever dreamed, but more difficult and challenging than I could have imagined. Because I get to be a mom, I've learned to love without limits, boundaries or conditions. I've learned that marriage is hard but so worth it when you both give it your all. I've learned the joy of being married to someone who "sees" me - heart, mind, and soul and loves me for what he sees. I've learned how gratifying it is to love my spouse unselfishly and fully, and to become the woman that he "sees".

Through various circumstances in my life, I've learned to do "hard-things". I've learned that it's not as important what happens to you as how you deal with what happens to you. I've learned that Heavenly Father will not give you trials that are beyond your capacity to overcome. I've learned that sometimes dealing with those trials means simply making the best of them and enduring them well. I've learned that being kind is never the wrong choice.

Finally, I've learned that at the end of our lives, we will not be judged by the sum total of the good and bad we've done, but by what we have become. I've learned that when my time on earth is over, I want to have used up my life in the service of my loving Father-in-Heaven - who gave me this life and the opportunity to grow and progress. I have come to the great desire to hear Him say, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant". 

So, here's to the last 52 years - I'm eager to see what the next 25, 30, or 52 have in store! All I can say is that it's been one heck of a ride so far!

Opposition...

This weekend was General Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  The Church has these conferences every six months.  For two days, (Saturday and Sunday) the members of the Church and other interested parties gather to hear the words and counsel that we believe is given to inspired leaders from our Heavenly Father.

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints there is no paid clergy. Everyone serves in a volunteer capacity. We believe that callings (or jobs/positions) in the Church are issued by inspiration from Heavenly Father. That includes the callings of our Apostles and Prophet.  Each member is regularly given the opportunity to raise their hand and sustain those who accept callings in the Church. They are also given the opportunity to voice an opinion to the contrary. Bear in mind, we are not voting to put or keep people in their positions. We are simply showing our public support of these individuals in their respective callings. It is an act of faith, not a popularity contest.

In the Saturday afternoon session of General Conference, a few members in the Conference Center yelled out "NO!" when asked to sustain the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. This came as quite a shock to many who had never seen an opposing vote before. Honestly, it surprised me a little, too.  It has been many, many years since I heard any opposition expressed at a sustaining of the Church officers.

One of the things I truly love about the Gospel as found in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, is the concept of agency. Agency is a gift from God which allows us the opportunity to make our own choices - good or bad. Although we are free to choose for ourselves, we are not free to choose, nor are we free from the consequences of our choices - good or bad.

God knows that we are all different. He created us that way. Thank goodness he did - or life would be pretty boring. lol  However, because we are all so unique, we each come to our belief, worship, and spiritual progression in our own way. I am grateful for that - God doesn't judge me by what someone else does or doesn't do. It's scary enough to be accountable for my own foibles and follies.

Those members who expressed their opposition in Conference did so for their own reasons. They are on their own personal spiritual journey and will progress or not at their own pace. I pray that they will be able to work out their feelings and find peace with Heavenly Father.

Their opposition did something for me that I didn't expect. It made me think about what it means to sustain our Church leaders. It made me realize that sustaining our leaders means more than just raising our hands. It means that I will live my life in compliance with the tenants of my faith. It means that I TRULY believe that these men and women have been called by God to serve in His Church. It means that because I raised my hand, I am committing myself to being obedient to my Heavenly Father and the counsel He gives me through His ordained servants. It means that I will back up my raised hand with my thoughts and words and actions.

Because of all it means...I raise my hand a little higher and think about what it really means to sustain the Prophet and Apostles of God.

He Lives!!!

He lives!!!  Because He lives, I know that one day I will be with my loved ones who have passed on, He gave His perfect life for each of us. He bore our sorrows, pains and afflictions so that He could have perfect empathy and so that He would know perfectly how to help us in our lives.  Because He died for us and rose on the third day, I know that we each will be resurrected as well. Because of Him, I have the hope of living with my Heavenly Father and my loved ones in a celestial, eternal family. Heaven be praised the for precious gift of the Son and thanks be to Him for loving us enough to save us all.

Happy Easter

It's been 12 years...

Twelve years ago, February 24, 2003, our beloved Daddy and Bonpa passed away.

Dad was many things... 

A loving and devoted husband...

His was the example I looked to when I dreamed of the kind of man I wanted to marry. Daddy loved Mom with all his heart and treated her like she was the Queen of the Universe.

Dad was a man of honor and duty. He gave his love, duty, and devotion in the service of this great Nation that he loved and fought for.

He absolutely adored his grandchildren and was so proud and happy to be their "Bonpa".

To me, he was my Daddy...the first man I ever loved. He was my rock and my example of so many things. I learned so much just by being his daughter and watching him live a life of honor and service. One thing I admired most about him was how very much he wanted to serve our Heavenly Father. 

He had a wonderful sense of humor and could tell the BEST stories. He knew how to meet people and how to make them feel special and important. It's been said that "Dad never knew a stranger". That was so true. After spending five minutes with him you felt like you'd known him forever.

Everyday of my life I have tried to live so as to make him proud. His opinion mattered to me, so much. He taught me honesty and integrity because that's how he lived. 

I miss him everyday. But I am so grateful for the legacy he left me and which I can pass on to my children.

I love you, Daddy. I miss you everyday!

Every year...

I know I post this every February 6, but I can't seem to help myself! It's hard not to celebrate something that makes you so very happy!

He asked and I said, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Can't help blogging it...he makes me so happy!!!

Twenty-seven years into our Happily-Ever-After and he STILL makes me so happy!

Thanks for asking me, Kev!  I still love you most!

...did I mention that this makes me happy??? 

Just making sure you all knew! 

Life with Sarcoidosis

Most of you know that in August of 2014, I was diagnosed with Sarcoidosis. Sarcoidosis is an inflammatory disease which can attack several different areas of the body. In my case, it is in my lungs and joints, mostly. The cause is unknown, and there is no cure. It is, however, treatable. In more severe cases, oral steroids (usually prednisone) are used. In other cases, the symptoms resolve themselves over time. My case is somewhere in between the two. I am being treated with inhaled steroids which gets the treatment directly into the effected area.

Most days, I feel fine - although I get tired more easily than before. Sometimes it effects my ability to breathe, so I have to use a rescue inhaler. But, mostly I do ok. I'm learning to pace myself. We've discovered that if I over-do things one day, the symptoms flare up and I am down for the next couple of days. 

I can always tell when it's going to be a day to take it easy because I start to run a fever. It's never very high, just enough to make me feel like I'm starting the flu. I've been foolish enough to ignore this warning sign and try to "muscle-through" it. I've learned not to do that! lol The fever gets higher and the joint pain can be excruciating.

Now, lest you think I'm looking for a "pity-party" with this post, let me assure you that I'm not! Please, not at all!!! Last August, before they came to the diagnosis of Sarcoidosis, they thought I had lung cancer!  I am grateful to have what I have and not something worse. lol

It's just that this experience is teaching me things that I want to share. 

I have good days and bad days. I'm happy to say they're both getting better. But I believe Heavenly Father is using this as an opportunity to help me grow and progress - to refine me, if you will.

There are days, the worst ones; when it's all I can do to drag myself out of bed. Everything hurts and I have no energy. The easiest thing in the world would be to give up and crawl back under the covers. And some days I simply have to do just that. But it would be SO easy to do that EVERY time it's a bad day, and I can't live with myself if I give in to that. So when I can, I drag myself up, make the bed (so I won't be so tempted to crawl back in) and try to get some small thing done that day. On those days, I find myself seeing tender mercies from my Father in the smallest things - reading my scriptures, a break in the fever, easing of the joint pain, a deep-full breath of air, someone else making dinner lol, looking outside at the beautiful place I get to live, helping my kids, prayer, etc... On these days, when I am SO aware of the tender mercies from my Father, I look ahead to the good days with such eagerness. It helps knowing the bad days don't last forever.

On good days, I still have to be careful exerting myself or I run out of air REALLY fast, and that's REALLY scary. But, I'm learning to listen to my body and pace myself. On those days, I get to be "me" again and do normal stuff like going to the gym, doing my visiting teaching, tending my home and family, serving my friends and neighbors, and learning new things. I'm still learning to pace myself, but it's getting better.

I saw a quote on Facebook the other day that really appealed to me. It said: "When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. Trust God today, no matter how dark your situation. God says: "You are coming out!"

I guess why I'm sharing all this is because I know we all have to endure hard things. But those "hard things" don't need to define or defeat us. Kevin always says, "It doesn't matter in life, what happens to you. How you deal with what happens to you is what's important". What a wise man - no wonder I love him so much! lol

My point is that when difficulties happen, we can use those times to learn and grow and triumph, or we can run around screaming, waving our hands in the air, give up, and be miserable. Marjorie Hinckley said: 

“The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.”

I have Sarcoidosis. It's making my life difficult and challenging. It's teaching me to do "hard things". It's teaching me to appreciate all the wonderful aspects of this existence - great and small. I have Sarcoidosis, but that's NOT who I am. I choose to live my life to the fullest. I choose to be good and I choose to be happy.

No matter what happens in our lives, we each have a choice. We can choose to be  good, productive, and happy in whatever circumstances occur in our lives, or we can choose to give in and be miserable. There is SUCH power in that! WE get to choose for ourselves! What a gift!

Thanks for all the love, prayers, and support! I can honestly FEEL your prayers! 

Love,

Netty

PS: I went for a 3 month follow-up visit to my  pulmonologist today. My most recent x-rays show the inflammation (inflamed tumors) in my lungs are shrinking a little. It's small progress, but it's going in the direction we hope for. Slow and steady win the race!

It's for me!

I've had some interesting experiences, thoughts, feelings, etc. about my fitness goals and progress, lately. 

Yesterday was measuring day at the gym. My trainer, Jerry Shannon, was SO proud of my progress. Especially after my diagnosis with Sarcoidosis has kept me from doing as much as I have wanted. The numbers for this measuring day were up six pounds of muscle and down 9.2 pounds of fat! I was SO excited!  I've been at this for two years. For the first year and a half, the scale didn't move...I mean, AT ALL!!!  That was because I was losing and gaining equal amounts of fat and muscle. From the beginning, Jerry has said, "The scale is NOT your friend!" He was right.  It took a lot of mental gymnastics to keep myself from getting discouraged when the scale wouldn't move.

In the last six months however, the scale has been starting a downward slide that makes me really happy. I'm losing more and more fat as I gain muscle. Gaining more muscle actually helps you burn fat - go figure. lol

Today something wonderful happened at the gym AGAIN!!  This time, I was on my own, doing my leg-workout. OUCH!!! By the way...it really hurts! But it's a GOOD hurt, lol. Two women whom I have seen at the gym since I've been there, but not really gotten to know; came up to talk to me. They said they've been watching my progress and really noticed a difference when I came in today. They complimented me on how much better I looked and encouraged me to keep it up. They certainly gave my morning a lift!

On the flip side of this, there have been people in my life who have doubted my resilience and determination. They've said hurtful things and told me that when I talk/post/blog about this, it's a little annoying. While such comments hurt my feelings, they don't deter me from my goals, thank goodness.

I am not one who seeks the spotlight. I am - or have been - very shy throughout my life. Kevin has helped me overcome that a bit. But on my own, I am a sit-at-the-back-of-class-and-don't-speak-up kind of person.  I felt a little awkward when these two wonderful ladies talked to me, today - even as I felt lifted by their encouragement. As I went through the rest of my time at the gym, I had some thoughts about all this.

Over the years, as I've fought my weight issues, I've tried SO many different things....for a myriad of reasons. To get my mom off my back, to try and get pregnant, to please Kevin, to avoid health issues, etc.  This time, I am doing this for me. The nutrition-program that Jerry devised coupled with the exercise routine that is tailored for me combine in a complete wellness program that has me feeling better, stronger and more energized than I have in my entire life!!!! Even If I never lost another inch, I wouldn't stop doing this - because it WORKS and because I feel GREAT!!! 

As I thought of all of this, along with my discomfort from getting attention; another thought occurred to me. I would stand on a stage in front of any number of people and tell my story - in the spotlight, so to speak - if it meant that I could help even one other person find what I've found and feel as much better as I do!  This process has given me hope. Because I've learned to do hard things (including this), I'm finding that I have the courage to try new things. My entire life is changing because I'm learning to believe in myself and have the courage to spread my wings.

So let the doubters doubt and the haters hate (as my son-in-law said to me the other day). This bird is gonna fly! ...And if along the way I can inspire or encourage others in their flight, I'm more than happy to do it!

Thanks to all who have encouraged, supported, and cheered me on! You're helping more than you know!

New Year - New Beginnings...

I know I said this in my last post, but...Happy New Year!!!

I love celebrating the New Year!  It's like opening a brand new book or pulling out a fresh sheet of paper to write on, or starting a new project....it's all about possibilities.  I'm all about possibilities! I look at people, and I see potential and good possibilities! It makes me happy!

For me, the New Year is about choice. It's an opportunity for me to openly and HONESTLY reflect on my life, my character, and my choices from the year before (or from the years before). In that open and HONEST reflection, I try to let go of things I don't like. Things that cause me (or someone else) hurt or discomfort. Things that are preventing me from becoming the daughter of God my Heavenly Father would like me to be. 

Sometimes that HONEST reflection is painful. It's in our human-nature not to like criticism, even self-criticism. But the ability to see ourselves as we truly are, be honest about it, and make it better is - I believe - one of the main reasons we come to this earth. So for me, the New Year provides me an opportunity to become better.

The nice thing is that Heavenly Father does NOT expect us to become better all at once. Thank goodness!!!  Line upon line, here a little, there a little - steady upward progress is what He looks for. 

So it's the New year! Let's evaluate ourselves and see what we can shed. Get rid of things that bring you down and make you sad. Let go of anger, negativity, and sadness. Shed some baggage, shed some pounds! lol It doesn't have to be a HUGE thing, just change one thing, stick with it, and see how much better you feel. 

Do you want to lose weight? Change something about how you eat or drink. Cut out one soda a day and drink water instead - or make it two! You want to feel productive? Learn a new skill, develop a new hobby, or volunteer. Serving others is a great way to feel better!  Are you depressed, anxious, or sad??? Get help!!! Let go of the things in your past that drag you down. Learn from what you've experienced and move on to a lighter, happier you! If you can't do it yourself, find professional help that REALLY helps! 

Embrace the possibilities! Embrace the New Year! Go out there and make a happy, healthy, wonderful life for you! It's your choice! Choose to be happy!  ...and have a wonderful new beginning of a WONDERFUL New Year!  

Love to you all!!!!